Summary:Coffee becomes a bit of a drama Log Info:Storyteller: None |
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Fenris is having a relaxing day. He is doing his favorite thing. People scaring. It's a lot like people watching but it involves making them nervous while innocuously sitting in front of a Starbucks sipping slightly overpriced French Roast. So far the manager has come out twice, the security guard for the building twice and the police have been called four times, all of whom have taken one look at him and refused to so much as make eye contact. It's the absolute funniest thing in the world to the God-Wolf. He chuckles quietly and raises his paper cup to his lips.
"And… action!"
Who had said that? Fenris puts the cup down and it hits the hardwood table of the trendy Seattle independent cafe with a ceramic thump. He's staring across the table at two other people both of whom look like the kind of 20 to 30 something actors who get cast to play in current trendy urban fantasy dramas as witches and vampires and werewolves and the like. He doesn't immediately recognize any of them though the one with the red hair kind of looks like Pepper if Pepper were twenty years younger and wore it long. Though Pepper would not be caught dead in the kind of fashion that that young lady is wearing, which is emblematic of the kinds of things that costumers think are 'cool' on shows like 'The Magicians.'
And then he realizes two other things. One, that there's a third person sitting beside him and two that he can see his reflection in the ceramic cup (hadn't that been paper?) He's got tossled shoulder length dark hair and a beard that sort of makes him look like a well kept hipster or a youtube acapella singer. He's got a scarf over a long coat and a blue shirt with the top two buttons loose.
What the actual fuck… is what he wants to say. What he does say is: 'You took your sweet time getting here.'
He has NO idea to whom that is supposed to be addressed and who ARE these people?
Seated next to the red-head is a young man in his early twenties, brunet, his hair kept in a style which plays into his deliberate costuming of 'rakish'. His cerulean-blue eyes have wandered away from bearded-Fenris as if bored, but now return. A long drag off his cigarette he keeps tucked between two fingers and his exhale lets dragon-curls of silvery-blue smoke from his nose.
There's a charming lack of apology in his tone as he replies while tapping off his cigarette in the ash tray, "Being timely becomes difficult when the opposing factions seek to bar the way. They will learn to stop sending emissaries to waste time soon enough, however…or run out of them, one or the other." Ambrose has kept his accent, crisp and rounded through some vowels, but the lines of age and life-wear are all but vanished. Instead, clean and youthful dimples at either side of his lips. When he flashes teeth, those canines are…just that touch too sharp to be human.
The person sitting next to Fenris has long dark hair that is permed and sort of resembles a 'poochie' do. That effect is made worse by the colourful hairscarf she's wearing, the ends tied so they trail down her back. She'd be … nineteen if she's a day and has that look of weary, youthful, exuberance. (Yes, it's contradictory).
Her clothes are brightly coloured, the spaghetti straps of the hot pink tank top she's wearing have slipped down her arms as she gives Ambrose the filthiest of looks. "*Must* you do that in here?" The accent? Something mediterranean.
"And what he means, is he forgot to put gas in the van."
One moment ago, Pepper was sitting in her office about to take a sip of her tea. Instead, she finds herself swigging the most disgusting, over-roasted, over-brewed, over-sweetened, caramel-and-whipped-cream-topped COFFEE. She does the most dignified thing possible in reaction. She chokes and starts coughing, coming dangerously close to sloshing the rest of the vile beverage all over the table and herself. It couldn't make her outfit any worse, though.
A leopard-print jacket attempts — and fails — to make her black button-up shirt that's unbuttoned enough to reveal a glimpse of similarly leopard bra and tied to bare her midriff more publicly acceptable. Her skirt is almost too short to be termed a skirt, and the over-the-knee black socks with white athletic stripes don't really do anything for modesty either. At least she lucked out with the Converse sneakers?
Coughing still from choking on the atrocious coffee-abomination, she's bent nearly to touching her head on the table, hiding her strangely young face from the others as the waist-length, coppery 'beach waves' of her hair get everywhere. Except into that coffee. Somehow.
Fenris is a solicitous kind of predator. He'd normally be asking Pepper if she was okay. Well, if she was choking. She's not okay, he can tell by what she's wearing. But all he can do - for some reason - is affect a look that is somewhere between serious and wooden and glance first to the woman in the very PINK tank top beside him (hey that looks kind of like Zee) and then look at the smoker across from him.
"Spike Ginney's coffee again, Aethey old chum?" The 'old chum' is given in a very exaggerated accent. Also, Ginney?
"Not everyone is as health conscious as you, Zoey." He says to Pinky McPinkerton. Wait. Zoey?
Finally the others hear a properly Fenris growl, though only in their heads. What in ALL of the hells is this and why am I having this overly mysterious conversation?!
He may wish for the overly mysterious conversation in a moment though as a woman who is the striking image of Reese Witherspoon from Legally Blonde enters the Cafe with an ALL PINK outfit, including fur cap and coat, and a purse dog. In her pink purse. Naturally. She eyes both 'Zoey' and 'Ginney' for a moment unhappily before fluttering her eyelashes at 'Aethey' which is surely not his actual name even here and beginning to heel-click her way over.
"Shit." 'Fenris' says and leans forward looking past 'Zoey'. "The Old Chum's stalker is here."
Not-Quite-Ambrose gives the hairscarf'd young woman a level look devoid of emotion before he then sighs out his last lungful of smoke from his nose again. The cigarette is snubbed out on the ash-tray with a finality before he takes up his own mug. A sip at it and he's immediately wrinkling his nose, squinting down at the black coffee laced with several dollops of cream.
"What in the bloody f — "
Then there goes Not-Pepper, seeming to have a violently adverse reaction to her own drink. He blinks at her and then across the table at the others. "I did nothing of the sort. Ginney chose to order that abomination of her own accor — "
Poor Aethey, can't finish a damn sentence from his script around here. As if he had some sixth sense (spoiler alert: the glass on the painting hung on the wall is well-cleaned and reflects Legally Blonde spectacularly well.) Aethey's eyes get huge. He turns in his chair in time to catch the eyelash flutter and then looks back at the rest of the table again as if to say, HELP.
Alright. Whomever is pulling this ruddy farce, I will not filet you if you confess now! Yep, that's Ambrose in everyone's minds, pissed and nearly spitting for it. I was making tea! This is coffee!!!
"Coffee's probably not fair trade." Zoey sniffs. "Ginney's got good taste after all." Just *look* at that outfit she's wearing. It's *lovely*.
Those bright brown eyes light on 'Elle' as she minces her away through the cafe. "Hello Elle. Come to ask Aethey out, *again*?" There's a smirk as she flips her raven curls (oh my god, so curly), over her shoulder. "And 'Miah, dahhhhling, you were going to buy me a pastry…"
I'm not sure but I'm not fussed on this role I've been given. Let me see if I can find out if this is magical… Zee's going to try and draw on her power.
Finally recovering from the coffee-induced coughing fit, 'Ginney' lets her own cup finally settle on the table and sits up enough to reach for a napkin and stares at her own leopard-clad arm for a second before her eyes move to the two across from her and Ambrose. She looks thoroughly confused, and VERY freckled where she isn't red-faced from the coughing.
"I… *cough* I asked for latte, not espresso." The instant the words are out of her mouth, she looks horrified. Or maybe it's because she caught a glimpse of 'Elle' approaching in all of her excessively Delta Nu Umbridge-ness. Or maybe it's because she's realized exactly what she's wearing as she abruptly tries to pull her jacket closer around her torso and likely elbows Ambrose in the process.
// This is a nightmare! Where are we? Why do you… // She turns to look at considerably younger Ambrose before continuing. // … all look like that? //
I have no idea and I am not liking the look of that blonde over there. Fenris, well 'Miah' says. Zoey finds that her power is still there and she can grab it but she can't quite… use it. Presumably she can only do so when called for by the script. The fact that they're in some kind of television-like dimension AND they're compelled to play along means that they're dealing with something very, very powerful.
But his reply to Zoey is cut short by Elle's arrival at their table.
"Hello Zoey." The woman says in a bubbly yet cold way. "Helllooooooo Aethey." That's a lot more dreamy.
"Ginney, Zoey, I've had enough of this. I won't be stymied by you two anymore. So, I, Elle Matildia Francesca Coleen Margaret Collingswood the Third challenge you, Ginney, to a duel for Aethey's love, resolvable here and now in the Mirror-Zone." Wait. Wat?
"And you, Zoey. You've been aiding and abetting her. So you will have to face Mister Scrufflebutt." The chihuahua. Who is growling.
Miah groans and leans forward putting both of his hands on his face. "You have the worst taste in stalkers, Aethey…"
Are he and Ginney a thing? Miah doesn't even want to think about that. (Yes they were. In season 2. And then not again in Season 3. And then there was that one episode with Zoey in 5 and now they are again. GOD WHY DOES HE KNOW THAT?!?!)
Um. Um. Um. This seems bad and I can't transform. Fenris sounds a bit concerned. Especially as Elle makes a gesture with her wrist and everything more than thirty or so feet away becomes sort of like looking into a shattered funhouse mirror.
"Don't worry, my darling Aethey. I'll handle these two hussies and then we can be together."
Aethey grunts as one of those pointy elbows gets him in the bicep and then glances off his ribs. He has time to give Ginney a sharp look — ow, bony elbows! — before Miss Collingswood the Third is greeting the table. Mostly the table. Mostly him, really, and threatening everyone else.
A few discomfited laughs from Aethey as he lifts a hand to shake it outwards towards the pink-garbed blonde. "Really, Elle, it need not come to this." But oh, then it comes to this, with reality fracturing around them.
The Bane, it will not leave my person! Won't reach beyond his skin, apparently, chained to his bones. Ambrose is not pleased by the snarl in his mental tone. More calmly, he adds in particular to Pepper, I know not why this is occuring.
Aethey, however, sticks to the script. "Elle, I have already sworn my heart to Ginney. It cannot be undone! Please, do not bring your wrath upon them! If…" Oh, man, look at the amount of profound winsomeness on his younger face aimed at Elle. "If I kiss you once, will you leave us be?"
And I can't access my magic … Zee sounds *annoyed*. What in the stars is going on here?
In person, the raven haired gypsy just smirks at Elle "I've done more than abet her, Elle. I've slept with him…" Inwardly Zee groans as her 'character' looks smug. "And if you value Mister Scrufflebutt, you'll not do this. I'm sure he'll make a lovely hot dog. Add a bit of mustard and mmmmmm…."
There's a glance to Ginney go as Zoey slowly stands "But if you insist, I suppose it will get you out of hair once and for all …"
// I swear on my great aunt Gerda, I will find out who's behind this and they will SUFFER. // Wincing an apology to Aethey, she then has to look at Her PANKNESS (she's so pink she's PANK) directly as the blonde gets way too close for anyone's comfort. She's already highly displeased, but then Aethey's offering a kiss is apparently a no-no.
"No! Aethey, don't you dare!" She practically leaps to her feet, somehow (again) managing to neither jostle the table nor knock her chair over. "You heard him, Elle. Back off, or you'll see how mad I can /really/ get." As she's ranting at the blonde, her far more coppery than usual hair starts blowing about (but there's no discernable wind?), little sparks and flicks of flame getting tossed off of the wavy locks. It's all just too perfect looking to be real.
Ambrose don't you have a thing for spunky redheads? If Fenris is going to be STUCK like this he might as well have a little bit of fun with it. It is still SUPER annoying though and he really hopes no one actually gets hurt. "If you get coffee on this coat I'm going to be upset." Is the wisdom his character has to offer this situation.
I hate this character so, so very much. The Old Wolf says.
"Oh Aethey. As much as I would love to I cannot trade short term bliss for-" She doesn't get much further because Ginney is up and in her face and the wind is blowing in her hair.
"Hah. You're just a pair of pretty eyes and you look good in a tight shirt, Ginney. Prepare to feel the wrath of a REAL woman. Aethey. Send me your love…" Elle puts the dog down, steps back a few paces and adopts a pose. Light begins to glow between her hand and while neither Zee nor Ambrose can sense real magic happening there very clearly SOMETHING happening. The wind kicks up again, ruffling both Elle and Ginney's hair.
Ambrose feels something pull on the Bane. Something is actually siphoning power from him and toward what or whomever that blonde is. That's probably bad especially because the blonde is aiming something at Pepper. The GOOD news is that pull gives him some wiggle room and he might with some effort and will be able to make part of the bane do something that HE wants it to do.
Zoey finds herself facing the little growling chihuahua who suddenly has glowy red eyes and says in a deep voice. "You're going to make a very nice pet, little witch." And then it's mouth unhinges and half a dozen tentacles lash out. Two of them miss and spill coffee on Miah and Aethey. The rest? Well she's going to have to deal with those.
Oh man: that cat's out of the box now. Aethey gives Zoey a sharp look and curt slice of a gesture as if he might erase the words long since lost to the air to the coffee shop — don't antagonize the stalker!!!
Ambrose, in the mental state they all share, seems to be having this white-tone moment: beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. …I did not predict this twist.
But Elle's managed to trigger Ginney's temper and the young man so rakishly dressed also manages to rise to his feet in order to…try to step halfway in front of Ginney with her flame-flickering hairdo. He feels the tug on his Bane — HIS BANE — and immediately proceeds to react in his self's true instinct to somebody who wants to toy with the ancient curse.
A very malevolent note enters his voice, dropping it several degrees: "I Suggest you cease and desist, Elle, and let us leave this place. My love is not yours to have."
CUE THE DRAMATIC UPSWELL OF MUSIC…and Aethey spluttering as coffee now stains his rakish clothing.
Zoey just ignores Aethey, like she has since they … nevermind.
Ginney's hair is awesome and Zoey wishes she'd get some special effects like that - WHAT, wait. NO! As the dog talks at her, Zoey gets the salt shaker from the table and undoes the top, dumping the contents onto the snapping tentacles. Stepping nimbly back - it's all so well choreographed - she then pours the hot coffee on top. "I feel like calimari for dinner, don't you 'Miah?"
Blue energy flickers around her fingers as Zoey moves to take advantage of the distraction she's just caused. With a dramatic voice, she speaks the spell backwards (of course), and with a grandious flourish - arcane symbols wrap themselves about the dog and start to lift him off the ground.
"Only if you promise to give me a pink collar…" she taunts.
"Better than looking like a chewed-up piece of bubblegum, ELLE," Ginney all but snarls at the blonde, her hands clenching into fists that flare into flames like lit matches. Her hair is starting to approach full Drew Barrymore Firestarter levels, and yet her clothing remains completely unscathed. // I am honestly, truly, extremely angry right now. And I really want to take it out on that, that… trollop. //
When Aethey steps kind of in between them, she says only slightly less angrily, "Aethey, stay out of this. I'm DONE with having to put up with this twit stalking you and ruining our chances at happiness." She raises one hand and blinks in momentary startlement at the flames before narrowing her eyes at Her Pinkness. "Let's find out if overly-bleached hair really IS dry and brittle." She throws her hand forward as if shoving something toward the blonde. Something, apparently, being a fireball the size of a cantaloupe.
Ginney's fireball slams into a ball of blue bane-laced energy sent at her by Elle and smashes through it. Elle barely gets a shield up in time to keep from being incinerated by the SFX department but her coat and blouse are scorched and her makeup and heels are RUINED. She glares and Aethey feels a more powerful tug on his bane as Elle winds up for an even bigger spell. Because that's what will fix the angry pryotechnic redhead.
"YOU FASHION CLUELESS BITCH! AETHEY I CAN FEEL YOUR POWER AND LOVE FOR ME! HELP ME FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!" She really doesn't get it though.
But that gives Ambrose even more freedom of action and he can sense something that seems to be the source of all the knots they're tied in. Since he can probably use his bane, maybe…
Zoey in the meantime finds herself dodging tentacles as she burns them with salt and tries to corral the dog-thing. It seems to expand to the point where it is mostly maw and two more much larger and thicker tentacles emerge making a grab for her waist.
Miah in the meantime was burned by the backwash from the meeting of the magicks and has stood and is starting to warp and twist. Something is pushing its way out of him. Something powerful and dark.
"WHY DO YOU EVEN KEEP THAT DEMON AROUND AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU SACRIFICED A VIRGIN TO IT YET?! OH WAIT, YOU'RE FRESH OUT OF THOSE AREN'T YOU, YOU THOTS!!"
And then there's fire in Ginney's hand so nearby and Aethey immediately side-slides out of the way as if he weren't certain if he too would catch alight. "GINNEY! WARN A MAN!"
PEPPER, WARN A — wait a ruddy second, mutters Ambrose, his tone evincing a moment of scratching at his temples. What's this he's sensing now, somehow simultaneously here in this ridiculous coffee house and elsewhere, in the vaguery of his true existence?
Aethey blinks a few times as if he'd been hit by vertigo, but then Elle's shouting at him for back-up. What the hell. His own hand is outstretched at her, fingers curled to claws, and with a vibrant snarl lacing his words, he demands: "I SUGGEST THIS ENTIRE AFFAIR CEASE!!!" And he slaps a tidal surge of willpower to this particular fuse leading back to the tangle of knots and impossible reality.
As the max expands, Zee casts another spell and a chair levitates, stuffing itself into the hole. The tentacles flail around it as Zee casts another spell to summon a big roll of … tape. That wraps around the dogs 'muzzle' and clamps it shut. Over the chair.
"Now, bad dogs go into time out." The raven haired woman flicks her hair again. With one more spell, she goes to open a portal to a pocket dimension. Mister Scrufflebutt is going to be consigned to that.
"Oh, nice, Ginney. You're really getting the hang of that."
// WHOA. Did I actually just do that? // Ginney looks shocked again for a moment, but then can't help but angrily yell even more drivel. "You're probably feeling the chemicals from that fake tan! Shut up and leave my Aethey alone! Drop dead already, you pink hussy!"
Hair flying about and still never tangling or getting in her face, she holds up her hands to reveal a new fireball double the size of the original forming between them. She holds the thing like a volleyball for a moment then shouts to her friends as she basketball-flings the thing at Elle while shouting, "Aethey, duck!"
They can all hear someone else's voice over the shared mental space. "Uh boss? Aethey just fried the reality enforcement capacitor. It's running out of juice REAL fast. When it does they're going to-"
"Yes yes yes. Skip to the big finale then. We're just about wrapped if we can get another minute from them and we'll fix everything else in post." Because everything is always fixed in post. Seems like Ambrose's gambit worked.
Ginney's fireball slams through Elle's spell and her shield and throws her against the broken-mirror wall of the area they're in. It flexes like it's elastic and then she crumples, her clothing charred and no longer quite so pink. Aethey indeed ducked in time.
And then the whole area turns dark. Miah hadn't been talking to Zoey at all. He'd been growling and warping and shifting and now something emerges. It's… feline. A great leopard man emerges - no shirt and a very nice physique - and his eyes go absolutely red. His maw is stained red seemingly permanently. He looks over the other three and growls.
"Run."
And then their vision goes dark and everyone sees 'To Be Continued…'
"Alright that's a wrap! Good work everyone. Let's get the stars to their trailers. We'll begin production on the new season soon!"
And then just as abruptly as they arrived… everyone is back where they started. But not before they hear Fenris' outraged parting tirade. FELINE?! A leopard man?! Alright. That's IT! This is BLASPHEMY! DISHONOR! Dishonor on YOU! Dishonor on your DOG!…
Mercifully that is cut short. Someone else has to deal with that for now. But with a new season in production, will they all be back?