2020-03-14 - What A Distraction


In order to allow part of the group to search for the crystal, a distraction is needed. And what a distraction it is.

Log Info:

Storyteller: None
Date: Sat Mar 14 22:05:47 2020
Location: Inside The Barrier 1

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The Pixies had been most helpful in providing information about the city. With any luck, that information is good, too. Of course, they'd been quite … inebriated … on Hercules alcohol by the end of the evening. But then, they were Pixies, so they might be used to it.

There's a way into the city towards the cliffs that border it. Some of the group can enter by it. They'll need a diversion though, to ensure they can enter without being seen.

Tigra and Zeal had joined the group some time during the night. They knew where to look for them and Batgirl had been watching for them. Once she'd seen them to the camp, she'd disappeared and hadn't been seen since - saying something about checking on things.

It had been decided that half the party would provide the diversion, along with the Pixies. This group is currently leading Batgirls and Hisako's horse to the gate, laden with produce that the Pixies had given in. Well, produce and Pixies (who are hiding).

As they approach the gate, the guards stop them. "What is your business here?" It had been decided that they were sent by a village some leagues back with supplies for the city - and a special tribute for the Lady Eurayle.

Once again looking a bit rakish in billow plouse and stirrup pants, with rapier on her hip, Tigra walks along, green eyes bright beneath the brim of her feathered hat. Fortunately, nobody took seriously her suggestion that they try building a large, wooden badger. When challenged by the guards, she steps forward, tugging her shirt a bit to reveal a little more cleavage, and then takes off her hat to sweep into a low, graceful bow, tail flagging cheerfully. "We bring supplies for the city, and a particular gift for the Lady Eurayle!"

Zeal moves with the others, the girl's form a curious blend of clockwork brass and wooden, she even has a wind-up key in between her 'shoulderblades'. One change from the last visit, though, parts of her body are covered by leathery psuedo-skin, and she has hair instead of a head with sculpted hair-like patterning. She absolutely cannot pass for human, not even in a cursory examination, but she's closer.

The golem girl is wearing leathery armor, and carries twin daggers, and twin bo-staves.

Eyes of literal peridot study the guard, and she stands to the flank and slightly behind Greer, trying to look like a bodyguard type for the rather curvy and lovely cat girl. She just peridot stares at the guards flatly, saying nothing for the moment though she does keep her eyes peeled for trouble.

Since the fairies had asked to be paid for their help in stories, Hisako had wracked her brain for a bit, then recounted some exploits of an ancient warrior, Lady Tomoe - consort of a samurai lord, and easily the equal (or superior) of any man on the field of battle. Hisako's own adventures - if she was pressed to recount any of those - were somewhat less impressive, at least in Hisako's own opinion.

At this point, though, Hisako is just wishing that a fraction of Lady Tomoe's courage would be within her for the rest of this adventure. She doesn't know as much about farming as she wishes she did for this part, but she's still happy enough, it seems, to show off the produce they've brought - lettuce, tomatoes, apples, and so forth, as you might expect of a farmer whose goods are part of the offering for Lady Euryale.

Hercules, for his part, is a bit reticent. He may hail from the same period in time as Euryale (roughly speaking), but then there's the whole 'my great grandfather chopped off your sister's head'. Awk-ward! And so he's swathed up in a ragged greatcloak, walking behind the wagon, helpfully giving it a push now and then if it looks like it's going to become mired. His eyes find Hisako, and he murmurs, "Calm, Hisako. You're going to be fine."

Greers distraction is a good one. The guards seem to fail to notice the others for the moment. "Oh well, hello there … " One of the guards, a big burly … lion like creature … rumbles to the cat woman. "How long are you staying for?"

He's nudged by his fellow, a slim horse faced being who isn't *quite* as taken as by the Catwoman. This one peers at Zeal, then Hisako and then Hercules. "We need to check your goods before we let you into the city…"

With that he goes to pull the cover off the wagon. And a swarm of hungover Pixies erupt. Flying everywhere and causing mayhem with the guards. They wanted a distraction to get the others inside, didn't they?

It's probably best they all act surprised and add to the confusion. Yes?

Tigra offers the leonine fellow a broad smile. "Well, now, that depends. In part, upon when we're able to present our tribute, and in part, on whether we might be able to enjoy the city's…hospitality for a time." She rests her hat holding hand on a hip, which is held at jaunty angle, all the better to be the focus of attention, and what cat doesn't like that. The more horse like one gets her attention and an attempt at an earnest seeming smile. "Oh, but of course!" And then all hell breaks loose. Or at least, a bunch of pixies break loose from the wagon. "Confound it!" she cries aloud, slapping at the pixies with her hat, and despite her agility she somehow manages to completely miss every pixie she aims for.

Hercules was specifically instructed, 'Distraction, and make it as noisy as possible'. And he opts to deliver. "AAAAHH! I'm -allergic- to pixies! I don't believe! I don't believe in pixies!" He grabs the wagon and flips it onto its side quite abruptly, showering the guards in produce, "Get them awaaaaaay!"

Zeal is actually studying what Tigra is doing, she seems a little…mystified. Alas, neither here nor back in in the real world could she even remotely carry that sort of thing off - here she's brass and wood, there she's…well, 'petit', just not endowed enough to distract. Still, the technique is interesting!

The Golem girl watches the pixie swarm, she watches Greer seem to lose it, and Hercules display extraordinary strength. She lacks any of those qualities - so she simply and very quietly starts poking her fingers through micro-portals, and starts untying…shoes, saddle girths, unlatching belts, in short…facilitating chaos - teleporter style!

A loud, shrill cry of dismay rings from Hisako's throat as the pixies erupt, "Aiiieeee!! The offering to Euryale is cursed! The gods of the land are angry, for what reason I do not know, but thus is their displeasure —"

And there goes the wagon, thanks to Hercules flipping it at least ninety degrees. Fortunately, Hisako's on the side it was tipped away *from*, so she doesn't get showered with either produce or pixies. What *does* happen is that she slips an apple out from under her tunic and lobs it over the wagon, trying to either bonk a guard on the head, or - possibly better - splatter him in the eyes.

She doesn't expect to do any actual harm, but then again, that's not the point, is it?

There is utter confusion as the guards try to swat at the Pixies. "Did you bring Pixies as tribute to the Lady Eurayle?" They're using their hands, paws and swords to try and swat them away.They clearly think the Pixies are the fault of the group. Not that they can do much about it. One guard trips as his boots are undone and flop off his feet, making him topple into the catwoman and have to cling to her to gain his balance. It's not the leonine one!

An apple hits the leonine guard on the temple making him spin and lunge for the pixie near him. He misses and trips over the upturned cart, falling right at Hisako's feet almost tripping her over.

A mounted guards saddle slides to the side of the demigryph he's riding. The guard lands on the ground with a crunch.

It is mayhem. Which is what they wanted.

The pixies swarm the guards and the group, now. One guard barrels into Hercules as swings and misses a pixie. Clinging to the big man to gain his balance. A pixie lands on the guards nose, between Hercules and the guard, and pokes its tongue out.

This *has* to be getting the attention of the those inside the town, surely?

When Hercules flips the wagon and spills out the produce, Tigra cries out dramatically, "My cabbages!" Looking to the guards, she protests, "No, I don't know how this happened!" Which is technically true, the best kind of true. Reflexively she catches the guard that stumbles into her, dropping her hat in the process. "Well! Hello there!"

Look, no matter how much Batgirl suggested it, there's just no way Herc was going to 'scream like a little girl' even if the 'pixie allergy' was his idea. Still, a little mayhem goes a long way, as he instinctively grabs the guard who latches onto him. "Ho, warrior, take care—" and then the pixie lands on the guard's nose. Herc screws his face up into an appearance of terror (to be honest, it looks more like he's got gas and is trying to impersonate Winston Churchill). Then with a yell he wildly throws the guard away from him towards another guard, not putting too much into it; he doesn't want to pulp the two.

Zeal finds this whole thing…ridiculous.

And FUN.

Digging deep inside her, she can't help but laugh, and then starts even meaner little pranks like slapping the bottom of running people's feet - an amazingly effective way to trip someone. Eyes of peridot are nearly aglow, and she moves to Greer's side and then the super agile mistress of parkour /trips/, and in her flailing pantses the guard that Greer is holding up. Oops!

Inside she's trying not to laugh her mechanized (currently!) bottom off at the look of constipation on Herc's face.

Like any good *totally innocent* peasant farmgirl, Hisako is too distraught over the sudden appearance of PIXIES EVERYWHERE to take any notice of the guard who nearly slides into her booted feet. Nor does she particularly seem to notice when she 'accidentally' kicks him in the forehead while trying to keep her footing, now that the pixies are swarming all around *her* too.

Certainly toppling over on top of the fallen guard with an elbow in the small of his back is just another accident in a completely chaotic series of similarly honest accidents. The bootheel which whacks into his temple, right where the apple smacked him earlier, is most assuredly no more than a painful little coincidence.

Batgirl would *never* suggest a man scream like a woman. Only women could do that with success. She did suggest he flail a lot and act helpless. It's a pity she's not here to see the effect of that.

With a 'pants' guard at Tigra's feet, produce everywhere, two guards thrown together by the Olympian demi-god and one kicked in the temple by Hisako - it's a mess outside the gate. Which is when the next wave of guards appear and surround the group, pikes lowered. "Hold. What is going on here?" Comes a deep rumble from behind them. It's a … woman with the body of a spider and hair so fair as it falls to her hips. Not a Drider, no. This is one that Hercules may be familiar with.

The pixies swarm again but the woman roars. "Be still I say! I will know what's going on here!" There's something that has the pixie heading for cover - this might not be good, not at all.

"Oh dear," Tigra says as the guard loses his pants. And she takes in the view, if somewhat (ahem) briefly. Her jovial manner fades a bit as pikes are lowered at them. She crouches down to pick up her hat and briefly dust it off before offering Arachne another graceful bow. "Your pardons, lady. We came with supplies and tribute, but somehow pixies infested our wagon, and I'm afraid things got rather…out of hand."

Hercules glances over, and stiffens. This isn't good. What the hell is -she- doing here? But Tigra takes the lead, and so Hercules tries to casually slink behind the wagon, rocking it experimentally to see if he can flip it right side up again without looking too obvious. There are other options, but he doesn't want to leave his friends in danger.

Hisako starts to sit up, realizes there are Very Pointy Things dangerously close, and settles for kind of sliding off of the leonine guard, trying not to do any extra damage along the way. "Those pixies weren't in the produce when we loaded the wagon, I swear," she moans, keeping her hands as clearly visible as she can. "Cursed, cursed, surely Euryale is cursed …"

Other than moaning pleadingly about curses, she's letting Tigra take the lead in dealing with the guards. And the spider-lady.

Rising, Zeal makes sure her 'charge' is okay, and then casually steps into the path of the pike nearest Tigra, offering a gimlet stare to that guard. The spider/woman hybrid does not bode well, not at all. Over a shoulder to Greer. "Milady, wouldst fain to turn my key and wind it up a couple times?" After all, why not distract this obvious Boss, hopefully the raid group has a good enough mix and can learn the proper counters to her attacks. For her own part, Zeal is ready to jump them both to a safe spot behind the pikemen, Pikes being far less use when you're away from the pointy bit!

Arachne gives Greer an arch look. "Indeed. Pixies. Eurayle is not cursed you stupid human." That's to Hisako. No love lost for humans - or mutants perhaps. "Pixies are just … pixies." She looks around at the mess and the guards who have the group surrounded. "It's unusual for them to be so … forward … this close to the town. But perhaps they were hoping to cause trouble for you."

The wagon rocks and yes, Hercules can flip it up. He can even turn his back so he can pick up some of the stuff from the ground. Arachne and Euryale and likely Stheno … are involved. What are the odds for the Olympian?

"You know that Eurayle will want her tribute." Arachne says to Tigra slyly. "I'm feeling … generous. Return to your town and bring back more unspoiled … produce. And I'll let you and your people remain free." beat "You will need to be back on the morrow." Zeal gets a look at the request she makes. "You would make a nice pet…"

Sly looks from spider-woman are not anything that makes Tigra feel at all more comfortable. Spider-women claiming to be generous? Even less so. But at least this keeps more eyes focused on them, and not on the otehr team. "but of course," she murmurs softly to Zeal, stepping over to give the key a couple of turns as she looks to Arachne. "We will certainly do our best, my lady," she says to Arachne. "We would hate to disappoint!"

To quote Crocodile Dundee, the odds? Better than average. Herc has faced worse odds, and he's still here. Still, this is… discomfiting. What is going on? He manages to get the wagon righted, and starts helping clean up, keeping his back to Arachne. He tries to catch Hisako's eye, and inclines his head for her to help push the cart back out the gate.

At this point, the smartest thing for Hisako to do - acting or not - is to shut up, especially with her (pretended?) fears of a curse on Euryale dismissed so authoritatively.

She does the smart thing, shutting up and helping reclaim what produce might still be of use and/or value, and assisting Herc in steering the wagon back out of the gate.

Zeal sighs as Tigra gets her all wound up, and then bows to her lady, and then to Arachne. "The Lady is most kind." She -wants- to say more, but resists the urge and is grateful indeed her altered body doesn't have a very expressive face, faux skin or not. Man, she really hopes the distraction and furor they created here was sufficient unto the day to let the other team gather their intel! She's still a little keyed up that she pantsed one of the guards. Avery can be a bit stodgy a lot of the time, this is definitively not one of them.

It should be unnerving for Tigra. That look from Arachne is everything it shouldn't be. There's no generosity on it, nothing to reassure them. "Very good. If you don't. My guards and I will be paying your village a little visit." And that doesn't bode well at all. And if she can't find their village? Will it matter which one, or ones, she does visit?

Probably not.

"Be gone now… " The guards move away, helping their fallen comrades up. There'll be ribbing and teasing in the barracks tonight, that's for sure.

As Hercules and Hisako push the wagon away, Hercules can *feel* her eyes on his back. She's watching him. More than the others.

They'll rendevous with the others in a little while - hopefully - and find if this was all worth it.

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