2019-08-15 - Method To The Madness


Johnny and Deadpool try to get information out of a criminal, then get attacked by Negative Zone monsters!

Log Info:

Storyteller: None
Date: Thu Aug 15 00:51:18 2019
Location: The Bowery

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Theme Song



The Bowery's tenement houses are easily recognizable from the sky. Flying into the city it's one of the first few buildings that one passes over, their criss-cross rooftops remarkable from afar for their interesting symmetry. Several of the buildings often lining up to create a nice optical illusion. Especially at this time of the evening with the sun setting far towards the west, limning the city's skyline against the horizon.
Some would call it picturesque, the view from the rooftops. Some might well consider that particular view one of the great wonders of the world. But right now, Larry Ditilio, strapped to one of the globe-like cisterns atop the building by a pair of really long velcro belts… he's not appreciating the view.
For a man in black and red is nodding his head in time with the purr of music, his phone set on the top of an industrial air-conditioner. One gloved hand is held up to the hanging man as if he were about to interrupt.
But Larry has no respect for the arts as he shouts, "HEEEELP! HEEEELP! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!"
But that's when Deadpool rounds on him and points at him while striking a wide-legged stance pose.
"Just like the White Winged Dove!"
"Sings a song, sounds like she's singin'!"
"Ooo, baby, ooo, baby, ooo!"
But Larry's not having any of it, "HEEEELP!"

Johnny is finally home, racing through the sky above New York. Ah it's good to be back in the Big Apple, although he does sometimes enjoy the freedom the Negative Zone grants him. Still, that place -is- kind of full of dangerous aliens and crazy monsters. Not that Earth isn't brimming with the same, but hey, there's always something about home, right?

He was flying over the Bowery, a streak of blazing fire through the darkness, when he heard poor Larry screaming for help. Can't say he's surprised—this isn't the best part of the city, that's for sure. The fire trail changes course, suddenly veering toward Deadpool and his quarry.

Landing on top of the cistern, he peers down at the other two men, hands on his hips. Oh, it's Deadpool. Hmmm…

"All right, all right—what exactly is the deal, here?" he demands somewhat casually. Larry at least doesn't appear to be too hurt, albeit rather stressed out.

"Larry, Larry, what did I tell you about interrupting?" Deadpool lets the music continue though no longer singing with, Stevie Nicks has that well enough in hand as she continues the ballad. A few quick steps over and hopping up onto that cistern, the man in black and red jams what looks like a gym sock in his mouth, causing the man to be reduced to a /murfle-murf!/ of sound.
"It makes the noise it gets the sock again. You're lucky, this one is my pilates sock, the other one is for my happy fun friday night fun time sock. And you don't wanna know where that one's been." He boops the wild-eyed restrained man on the nose, then drops from the water-vessel. Landing on the roof with a thump he straightens up.
And there all of a sudden is the Human Torch. Arms widening, "Johnathan 'Sotomeyer' Storm, as I live and breathe!" He then points at himself and the hostage, "What this? Oh that's Larry Ditilio! No, no, not the famous one who wrote the first season of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. I made that mistake too."

Johnny rolls his eyes, though it probably isn't quite visible through all that fire. "I didn't ask you who that was, I asked you what the deal is. As in what exactly are you doing, and what exactly did this Larry dude do to deserve you holding him hostage, and what exactly are you planning on doing with him?" he questions, glancing back and forth between Deadpool and Larry.

The man with the sock in his mouth makes as loud of murfles as he can, staring wide-eyed at the Human Torch, pleading with such a plaintive gaze. But Deadpool's gaze is much harder to read, considering those white eyelets grant little insight into the man's rather out there thoughts.
"Oh. Just. You know. Hanging out." He folds his arms over his chest, and tries to look entirely too nonchalant. He flare his fingers from his bicep as if it was no big deal. "Chillin'. Listenin' to some tunes. You wanna hang?"
But the murfles get louder and strained all the more, so Deadpool comes clean. "Ok I was /probably/. Goingtoshoothim. But hey hey. Hear me out. He's a bad guy."

At that, Johnny comes down from the cistern and lands in front of Deadpool and Larry, putting himself between the merc and his victim. With such close proximity, the two men can definitely feel the hot-enough-to-melt-metal temperatures that surround the Torch. "Really now." he says, arching a brow at Wade. However, as much as it may have seemed that he was about to unleash some kind of fiery blitz on the merc in red, he instead steps back slightly and folds his arms.

"Okay, fine. I'll hear you out," Then he'll hear Larry out. But he doesn't tell Deadpool that just yet. "So how exactly is Larry Ditilio a bad guy?"

"Okay okay. Okay." Deadpool shifts his weight to the other foot to stand on tip toe and look past Torch towards Larry, then sets back down and looks at Torch. "Ok c'mere." He gestures with one hand and steps away a few paces, then turns up the music.
He'll wait until Torch perhaps steps with him and if he does so that's when Deadpool will confide in him. "Good good, keep nodding your head and looking all angry and flamey." Deadpool then sneakily looks to the side towards Larry who is still screaming into the really rather unpleasant sock.
"Alright, Mrs. O'Leary, here's the deal. I'm not gonna hurt him." A pause, "Ok maybe a little. But he's gotta think I am gonna. Larry, over there, runs parts replacements to this group of coyotes that have been running people all crazy up and down past the Mason Dixon into Arizona and over the border. Real nasty fuckers who, spoiler alert, I am totally going to fucking shoot."
He points over his shoulder at Larry, "But this chubby non-He-Man-Writing motherfucker is the only one who knows the route, and I need to get him ripe and ready for the old Deadpool mindgame intelligence extraction operation 45."

Johnny follows Deadpool a few paces away, sort of hovering there as he listens to the story. It sounds…plausible. And Deadpool meting out his own brand of justice also sounds typical. Hmph. These 'anti-hero' types were always kind of annoying, thinking they always had the right way and the best way to go about investigating and apprehending criminals! Which often involved beating them to a pulp/killing them without a fair court trial. The whole 'guilty until proven innocent' deal as opposed to what it was -supposed- to be in this country.

He nods, though reading his face might be just as difficult as reading Deadpool's at the moment, given it's made of plasma. "Right. And now it's Larry's turn." He floats up to the other man's level as he is strapped to the cistern. And the sock, well, just kind of incinerates suddenly. Somehow, though, it doesn't burn Larry's mouth, although he could feel the searing heat. It's a very odd sensation, indeed.

"This fucker is insane, you gotta help me! He already tried to kill me!" Larry speaks with clear desperation in his voice.
"That's not true, I did shoot at him, but if I meant to kill him, then yeah." Deadpool has his arms folded and is gesturing with one upon his bicep as if pointedly arguing his case.
"He's been chasing me all over this city! I need help! I need protection! I gotta get outta this city!"
At that Deadpool tilts his head slightly and says, "Yeah, what can I say? He's kinda fun to chase."
But then he lowers his head and steps a little closer, unzipping the neck of his combat suit and then fanning himself with the lapel, "Woo, very warm, like a puddle of crotch sweat after a full day mowing the lawn in the nude on a John Deere."
But then he lowers his voice, "Go on and rescue him, it'll give him a scare. And then, wazowie, I catch him later and he spills his guts. Alright?"
"Alright. Ready, and break." He steps back and nods then says loudly. "VERY WELL FLASH." A pause, "I MEAN TORCH! I SURRENDER HIM TO YOUR CUSTODY."

Torch folds his arms as he listens to Larry plead his case. Well that sounds about right. He turns when Deadpool announces that he'll turn the man over to his custody. "Well that wasn't hard!" he chuckles, then turns back to the man.

"Sure, I'll help you, but you gotta help me first, Larry. You have to tell us everything you know about your employers. No, not your day employers, I mean your -other- bosses. Now, I know you're scared of them too, but honestly how many of -them- can essentially turn themselves into a nuclear warhead?" Pause for dramatic effect. "That's what I thought." he jabs a thumb in Deadpool's direction. "See, he might have lost a few marbles, but there -is- method to the madness."

Deadpool's head bobs, white eyelets widening. "Sooo much Method. I am super Wu-Tang all up in heah." Wade even goes so far as to flash what at first glance might be a gang sign, but is really just Mc Hammer's 2 Legit 2 Quit hand sequence.
But Larry, he's taken aback a little and shakes his head, "I don't know nothin' about that, man." But if Johnny's any judge of peoples' character he can tell the man knows about that. But also that perhaps whatever these coyotes might have on him, or how dangerous they are… it might be pretty severe.
Then, behind Torch, Deadpool leans as close as he can. "Johnny. May I call you Johnny? Johnny, do you want to be good cop or bad cAWP AIE MY MASK IS ON FIRE." He quickly pulls back and starts smacking his face several times, just a few hints of smoke and a lil bit of ember seen. But hey, it was close.

"Oh but I think you do. Like I told you, method to the madness." Johnny replies, nodding toward the red-clad mercenary. This isn't the sort of thing he usually does, but hey, it seems he's not so bad at it. "Listen, whatever it is they have on you, someone's going to get it back, or someone is going to protect it. If not me, or Deadpool here, then -someone- will. I promise." he smiles a genuine smile. He's serious about that one! And he probably honestly thinks it's a promise he can keep, even if that's not actually the case.

Then Deadpool leans in and asks a question, but ends up getting too close. Johnny chuckles. "Sorry about that, but I kind of assumed you learned not to get too close to fire before you got out of diapers."

"What you're supposed to stop wearing diapers? Those things are convenient." Though Wade's tone is a touch more subdued as he smacks at his mask and tries to make sure it doesn't catch fire again.
But Larry Ditilio he shakes his head and repeats a little lower, more down-trodden as he says, "I don't know nothin'." Then he boils over into rage as he shakes his whole body, kicking his feet against the metal side of the cistern, "Just get me off of this fuckin' thing you fuckin' freaks!"
But Wade's not exactly paying attention as he's turned around and pulled his mask off, his horrible scarred skull visible from behind as he smacks his cover on his leg to make sure it's completely out before he pulls it back on.
Rounding back he says, "Looks like this one got away, Pepper. But here, you take him. I'll work another angle, you can see what you can get out of him, and then whooooosh. I'll scoop him up in a day or so."
"Cool? Cool. Cool."

Well, he's not wrong about the diapers. Johnny shrugs and turns back to Larry. He frowns as the man loses it and kicks wildly, although it is to no avail. "Wait, you don't believe me? Wh-why not?" he asks, his voice sounding perturbed, because that actually bothers him. He doesn't yet realize that he's trying to step into a world that he doesn't understand, as if Daredevil or Punisher tried to go to the Negative Zone or outer space. Doesn't Larry Ditilio realize who he is, and more importantly, what he can do?

For a few moments, he just hovers there, staring uselessly at the angry hostage as he is unsure of what to say or do next. Deadpool's comments go ignored.

Abruptly, a nearby street lamp makes a loud buzzing noise. Sparks fly and suddenly the power to the block goes out. Something emerges from the lamp…it looks like a creature made of pure electrical energy. Then another. And another, and another. As they materialize, they start to look more bat-like. And they screech and charge at Johnny, firing bolts of electricity at him that may also hit Larry due to his proximity.

"Even Babe Ruth struck out sometimes, kiddo." Wade tells Torch and looks like he might be about to try and slap him on the back. But to his credit doesn't. But then, of course, all heck breaks loose as the power fluctuates then goes out. The area is plunged into darkness and out of the holsters come Deadpool's pistols.
"The sweet purply sweaty ass is going on?" Though then there's illumination as the creatures start to filter out of the lamp and it's…
It's electrical monster critters.
"The hell is this, Storm?" Deadpool breaks into a run to, weirdly enough, interpose himself between the monster things and Larry, "Is this crazy wacked out giant mole people underwater banana hammock wearing feather ankles crazy Dr. Doom Fantastic Four crazy bullshit that you brought along with you? Because I'm supposed to mess up other people's guest appearances, you're not supposed to mess up mine!"

ZAPPITY ZAP. The bolts hit both Johnny and Deadpool, since the merc gets in front of Larry. It's not a little static from a freshly washed sweater, either. Definitely enough to knock a normal human out. Johnny is sent backward into the cistern, partially melting the stand that is holding it above the rooftop. It groans dangerously.

"Shit!" Torch curses, and a large fireball is instinctively lobbed at the creatures. He definitely hadn't expected them to follow him out -here-!

"Ooh you said a swear, I'm telling Ree-AAGGIITTY!" Deadpool convulses as he's struck by the lightning blast and knocked into the cistern, trembling as he tries to hold on and fails to do so, landing on the ground upon his back where he proclaims unhappily, "Mother piss bucket! I taste copper."
He flips to the side, and without hesitation he leaps up and grabs the velcro straps with both hands. "Alright, Larry, get the fuck out of here. This is some insano M. Night Shamalama twist bullshit."
Larry doesn't have to be told twice as the bonds holding him riiiip and he hits the ground, scrambling up to rush towards the stairwell that leads into the apartment building proper. He's urged onwards by Wade calling after him, "Run, you chubby chariots of fire fucker. Run!"

Just in time too. As soon as Larry is free from the cistern, the stand gives way and it topples, falling off of the edge of the roof and crashing to the street below. Oof, that wouldn't have been a pretty death if Mr. Ditilio had still been strapped there.

Meanwhile, the bat monsters are now on fire AND angry. They scatter, and that means a couple of them come after Deadpool! One of them tries to sink its fangs into his shoulder, while the other fires a miniature ball lightning at him. Johnny is still being hassled by the rest of them, shooting flames left and right while at the same time trying not to set the apartment building on fire…

"Alright, enough of this happy time Friendpool crap," Wade says as he gets to his feet while the bat creatures are rushing towards him, their wings flapping wildly as they dive in and he ducks to the side, breaking into a roll. When he comes up one of the pistols is holstered with a quick click of it locking into place and then there's a resonant /SHING!/ as a katana is draw.
"Maximum Effort." He grits his teeth and then leaps forwards, planting a boot on the elevated industrial air conditioner and meets that charging bat halfway.
There's a flash of steel and he's past the critter, remaining pistol tracking some of the others and barking steel and fire as he pulls the trigger, letting the line of bullets track on the critters as he lands, twisting to the side and blade lashing out again to catch another.

There is that thick, rich, SHHHLICKT sound that happens when blades slice clean through flesh, and two halves of half-charred monster hit the rooftop behind Deadpool. It's like Fruit Ninja with bats or something.

The merc's aim is kind of legendary, really, and these things are no match for it! Besides, they're already getting burned up at the same time so they're definitely distracted. So before too long, there's a bunch of dead monsters on the roof, along with a lot of this greenish-yellow liquid stuff.

The blade lashes out to the side, twisting through a smooth circulat motion as he intercepts another charging one. Then he brings up the pistol to cap one right under the chin as it crashes into the wall behind him. It's a blur of movement and wild activity, with him and Torch taking it to town…
And shortly it's over, with the stink of dead bats and charred flesh, the rooftop is now officially a mess. And far below that cistern is going to need some fixing. They'll have to get a crane out here and it's… just going to be a mess.
"Alright hot head, the heck was that?" Wade asks as he slides the katana back in is sheath with another /SHING!/ "That was some crazy messed up stuff and I want you to know!" He advances on the man and points at him. "That it is totally up my alley."
He spreads his hands, "So now does this mean I'm part of the Fantastic Four? Do I get my own blue and black costume? Does Ben Grimm snore? Maybe my room should be next to yours now that we're best friends. So like /how/ married is your sister to Reed. I mean that on two levels, like intensity as well as incredulity. /How!?/ to that geek guy? Anyways. It's great to be on the team."
He claps his hands together and rubs them quickly.

Yep, definitely a mess. Though to Johnny, it's just all in a day's work. As a matter of fact, this was fairly tame compared to most of the messess the Torch makes when fighting baddies of all types. "Uh, sorry about that." he says somewhat apologetically. "I um—may have pissed them off which may have led to them following me into this dimension but I didn't think they'd come all the way out -here-." he shrugs, the flames finally disappearing from around him as he drops down onto the roof proper.

He chuckles at Deadpool's questions. "Uh, one. Very married. And two—hell if I know. I mean, she is kind of a geek herself, so there's that. Oh and yes, Ben definitely snores." he says with a smirk. "But like sorry bro I don't think you can just like join the team. Because like, then we wouldn't be the Fantastic Four any more, it'd have to be like Fantastic Five or something and you just -know- everyone's going to get that wrong, and plus it just doesn't sound as cool."

"Oh. Oh." Wade says as he visibly droops. "Ok." He tucks his other pistol away. "No, no. It's alright. Just, you know. My dreams shattering is all. No no it's ok." Deadpool turns away, one hand extending out behind him as if trying to keep Torch away from him.
"I'll be fine, just… just give me a little time. I… I don't want to be touched right now. Please, Johnny. Just…" He turns back and lifts a finger to rest it upon Torch's lips.
"Hush now, lambkins. We'll always have Monaco." Then he turns his head and looks down and away, "Now go. Fly you magnificent man. Fly away from me and my heart!"
He then pulls up his mask as he turns away and blows his nose. /Loudly/. Into his hands.

Johnny stares at Deadpool's antics. "Iiiii wasn't going to touch you, don't worry." he laughs.

"But c'mon man, I already said it wasn't personal! Just, you know—it's complicated with the team name and all."

Brows go up when Wade touches him and says something about Monaco. "I guess Larry was right about one thingyou are insane. Still though, like I saidmethod to the madness. Seeya Pooly!" He lights aflame once more as he rockets upward, returning to the skies.

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