2019-07-03 - Just Sign Here


Time to get paperwork for the displaced Rasputins and Keiko.

Log Info:

Storyteller: None
Date: Wed Jul 3 05:37:48 2019
Location: Koa's Office

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While not all pocket dimensions are hell - though a really rather disappointing number of them are close enough - ALL dimensional anomalies are hell for bureaucracy. People just popping into existence or aging faster or slower than they use to, or being replaced by near replicas of themselves from alternate timelines. ALL of it plays havoc with things like 'having an ID card'. Simple things that are increasingly necessary in modern life.

Fortunately the agency that deals with such things, WAND, has a process for that.

Koa Turner has asked Illyana and Keiko to come by to help sort out the necessary paperwork. Sam Guthrie has also been called primarily because this concerns him and secondarily because Koa has only one good arm and he needs the help.

At any rate, Koa's just in his office, waiting for them to show up. Odds are high that being in the same house they might show up via stepping disk. Unless Sam's already at work. Not clear.

"What are you doing, human?" The imp perched on Koa's file cabinet says.

"I'm looking at a casefile, how did you get IN here?" Koa shoots back. "And what did you say your name was?"

"Some call me… K'nert…"

"Did you just try to do a John Cleese impression?" Koa mutters with a roll of his eyes.

Sam Guthrie was, in fact, at work, which is probably why he arrives so promptly. Also, he's Sam Guthrie, so he's almost always on time and usually brings a little something for everyone, in this case a box of donuts from the cafeteria and a few precariously balanced coffees, sugars and creamers.

"I think his name would be Tim, then, Agent Turner, sir," he says. setting his things down carefully. "I didn't bring anything for your, uh, friend there, but I can probably find somethin' and we can ration things down so everybody's even, I don't wanna leave anybody out," he says.

"I imagine they'll be arriving out of nowhere any second. Illyana's got a habit of…just…popping."

Illyana Rasputina *could* have gone through the front door. But it's a secure building and so there's lines. And XRay machines. And metal detectors.

There's a lot of metal on Illyana's attire so, to put it in the colloquial: Eff that.

A stepping disk appears in Koa's office, and it's probably a good thing he's got a decent sized space given the three women that appear into the room. Illyana's in the front, so that Keiko can guard Elena. Koa gets a nod, and Sam an amused smirk. At least until she sees the food. "Is there an eclair?" She says hopefully, moving over so she can peek into the box.

Sam Guthrie points at Illyana, "Toldja," he says to Koa, presenting Illyana with said eclair, already wrapped in wax paper.

It might be a good thing that Illyana is ahead. Keiko has Elena by the hand. The dark haired child is incredibly well behaved and looks about the office with wide, pale blue, eyes.

It's a pity about her mother.

Seeing K'nert, the small spirit caller, lets out a low guttural growl, pulling Elena closer. "You…"

K'nert watches Sam arrive and watches the interplay between he and Koa while chewing on what looks like an envelope marked 'urgent, eyes only.' When Illyana arrives he crouches lower and then REALLY crouches when Keiko spots him. He backs up further into the corner that the filing cabinet is perched in, seeming to blend in partly with the shadows.

Yes. Him.

"Koa, Guthrie. You can call me Koa if you like." Though Koa suspects the farm boy will continue to call him sir. He glances back at the demon briefly and then looks to Keiko and Illyana as the latter rummages for an eclair.

"Aren't you thoughtful." He chuckles and looks in the box. Oh. A maple bar. He'll want that.

"Right, so… you, Keiko are seven years older than you should be. You have an unregistered child, your er, not quite husband is ALSO seven years older than HE should be. You, Illyana, are ALSO seven years older than you should be because this is just a number that Limbo likes. And…"

He pushes an extra form forward. "I understand that there is Fourth Rasputin?"

Keiko told him.

"He's not going to cause any trouble Keiko. He-" Koa glances back. No K'nert. "Ah, see? He's gone."

Only kind of. Moments later a little impish hand reaches up from under Koa's desk to try to get to that pastry box.

"So. I'm going to need help filling these out." That's why Guthrie is getting a couple of the forms pushed in his direction. "Can you read Keiko?"

Koa is oblivious to the fact that K'nert is A) Angling for the doughnuts and B) MUCH closer to Sam, Keiko and Illyana and pertinently Elena, than he was ten seconds ago.

Sam Guthrie nods, "Yes, sir, I will try to remember. Er, I will remember, Agent Turner, Koa, sir."

He takes the paperwork offered to him, mostly 'witness' statements and things of that nature, testimonies of trustworthiness, that sort of thing. Renouncing the powers of darkness and foreign allegiances. That sort of thing.

"Would it do any good for me to escort the little fella out or is he like Illyana and just prone to go wherever he pleases without much regard for pesky things like doors?" he says, clearly teasing the blonde Russian girl.

Since K'nert has ceded the high ground, Illyana goes up on her toes to kiss Sam's cheek and then grabs some coffee and teleports to sit on top of the filing cabinets. The view up here is great and frees up the limited number of chairs.

As Koa mentions the additional Rasputin, Illyana nods. "Mikhail. But he's…" She does some mental math. "Eight years younger than he should be. So, obviously he wasn't stuck in Limbo. Just… limbo." It's a good thing Sam brought food, isn't it? So that she can eat. She does take a bite of her eclair, quirking a brow over at K'nert, because she *can* see him pretty easily from up here. She's distracted from the demon's antics as Sam teases her and she sticks her tongue out at him. "Doors are for losers." She puts her nose up in the air, affecting airs. Apparently chocolate is a good way to start her day.

Keiko snarls at K'nert, her lips pulling back to reveal the fangs that are there. "Piotr is seven years older, yes. Elena's father." Not quite husband indeed. That's going to get pushback for a while. When the imp disappears, her slitted eyes follow for the moment.

Koa's question distracts her. "What? No, I still can't read, Koa. Well, Spanish a little. English even less and certainly not Russian." That she admits it a step forward.

It's then that Elena's eyes go full white - just like a certain Aunty's. "Beg…" the child says. Poor K'nert.

"Right, well come have a seat next to Sam and we'll read the information to you and make sure it's correct." Koa would ask how they ended up with yet another Rasputin but he already got the cliffs notes from Keiko whom he motions forward.

K'nert looks at Elena and does a little begging motion, then swipes a doughnut and retreats under the desk. Which might not have been quite the intended effect but following the letter and not the spirit of the law is a very, very demonic thing to do.

"Not sure, Guthrie. I'm not real clear on how he got in here to begin with but he's not tripping any of the hostility wards and this happens occasionally…" Just usually not with creatures from Limbo.

Koa turns and offers Illyana a small notebook with sketches and notes on dream wards. Well. She asked, he'd been doing some research. "See if that's helpful?"

He's about to go on with the relative mundanity when K'nert appears again, this time dropping out of the shadow in the upper corner of the office to land on the back of Sam's chair and peer over his shoulder. And then… poke at his neck. "This one isn't marked."

That's probably primarily to Illyana but he says it while looking at Keiko's collar - the one fused with her neck - and then the odd thing that looks like a silvery tattoo that rings Koa's neck.

Then he peers at Elena. He looks like he's about to add something but thinks better of it and just looks around the room, as if watching how people react.

Sam Guthrie reads out a bit of form text, then does his best to translate it into comprehensible English from the administrative mumbo jumbo it's usually in, just to keep Keiko from losing her mind trying to decipher the deliberately obtuse phrasing of the thing.

When K'nert taps him, he nods, "That's right, not a mark on me. I even washed behind my ears, you oughtta try it sometime, little fella," he says. "If yer talkin' about all that stuff, well, I'm just regular SHIELD, I don't usually dig much in the magical stuff except…by association," he says, flicking eyes to Illyana. "Still got all my teeth, though, so I figure I'm doin' alright enough."

Illyana Rasputina licks chocolate from her fingers as she watches Elena, her expression very… neutral. She usually emotes fairly well, even if most of the time it's sarcastic and at someone's expense. But as the girl's eyes go white and K'nert begs for her, it's very, very blank.

The blonde leans forward to accept the notebook, sipping at her coffee and flipping through it as Sam reads stuff of for Keiko. When the imp drops onto Sam's chair though, her attention flicks over that way like a predator catching movement. "Did you touch him?" She asks, sounding oh-so-casual. "I know I was *very* explicit before my disappearance that none of my demons were to touch Sam." Because he was spending extended amounts of time in Limbo with her, working on bringing some flora back.

Elena pouts a little, her eyes returning to normal as Keiko just shakes her head at the child. "Remember what I told you, pequena estrella, pick the fights you know will win. You did well." Such a wonderful role model for a young child.

It would have been better to see K'nert abase himself and roll on his back. She'll teach the girl eventually.

Sams attempt are frustrating for him as Keiko's grasp on English is fleeting. Perhaps more so since Piotr taught her Russian and her language is now a mashup of all three. "Honestly, Sam. Is there anything I need to know, if not … can't I ju—-"

K'nerts appearance has that sentence unfinished as Illyana asks that fateful question.

Elena has taken an interest in Koa though and currently trying to clamber into his lap.

K'nert does something that in a human would be 'shifty eyes'. On a demon it looks a bit weird but then most things do. "No…" He totally did but since she asked that's the answer he's giving. And he's also totally not touching Sam now.

Sam's answer though has him hopping onto Koa's desk and peering between the three people who are 'Illyana's' thoughtfully.

"If you're confident Keiko you can just sign OW!" Elena is NOT careful and grabbed his bad arm for leverage which has Koa's features suddenly going sleek and angular just for a moment before he suppresses it. "Careful kid…" He admonishes.

At that moment a lumpen head that looks like a skinned dog peers around the corner. It's coloration and texture similar to K'nert's and Koa raises his good arm and glares at the thing as if to say 'really?!'. But it's gone before anyone who isn't already looking that way can see. Keiko might interpret it as an expression of exasperation at her daughter.

K'nert is quiet and stares at the paperwork while Illyana flips through the notebook. There's a lot there. Koa's been quite thorough. Building a dream ward is a bit like a sieve. Getting the size of the hole is the key thing.

"Are little girl and the Guthrie going to be marked, then? They're signing over their deeds, right?" K'nert asks again, still on Koa's desk.

Koa looks up and his look says 'I smack you…'

"Hold on, lemme read the rest real quick," he says. While he essentially trusts SHIELD and, by extension, WAND, he's not going to tell Keiko something's okay to sign unless he's actually certain it's okay to sign.

"Nothing here that seems out of joint. Just sign on the line here and there, then initial here. Doens't have to be a full name or even an actual signature, just a mark, since Agent Turner and I are signing off as official witnesses," he says.

He raises an eyebrow at the little demon dude, "I ain't anybody's condo, hoss. No deed to me," he says. "I know it ain't like that way wherever you are and I'm sorry for it, but this is America, son."

Illyana Rasputina's perusal of the notebook has paused as she watches K'nert with that quirked brow. Waiting. "Mmmm. I didn't think so. I'd hate to make a mess of Koa's office because someone made me repeat myself."

As K'nert hops down to the desk, she turns her attention back to the notebook, and so misses the other demon peeking in. "I don't need to mark them, I've made it very clear to every demon in Limbo that they'd better be hands-off." The blonde looks pointedly at K'nert again. "And you may call the little girl Mistress Elena. She's my brother's daughter as you're well aware and we would take anyone upsetting her quite poorly."

Elena pauses as Koa 'ows' "I want to see your neck. It's like Mama's but prettier."

Now that Sam has decided to not explain everything, Keiko's attention returns to her daughter and the imp. "Elena, come here." This is tricky. If the child decides to be a child and refuse, it diminishes Keiko further. If she obeys … well the pecking order's set for a little bit.

Fortunately for Keiko, the child obeys and leaves the poor WAND agent alone. There's no apology from either her or Elena though, you simply don't do that.

At the appearence of another demon, Elena's eyes change again and she points to the lumpen head. "Come here."

K'nert however gets the flatest look from the spirit caller. She's about to say something when Illyana speaks - and decides to smirk at the imp instead. It's not nice.

"Sign?" That's to Sam. Oh, a mark. "With a pen or blood?" She asks as a follow up.

Reading everything in a document you're gonna sign is good practice around magi. And while Koa and WAND are generally pretty benign letting your guard down is how you get into trouble.

"Condo. That's one of those things. A… trojan." K'nert seems pleased with himself for getting that. "No, human. You're not a trojan. But you are helping people sign themselves away." Beat. "Why not in blood? Signing in blood is better."

"Alright. Off the desk." Koa says, smacking the demon with his good hand. It flops on down next to Keiko's foot and then scrambles away from her to climb a standing lamp about four feet away.

"Mistress Elena. Yes Boss. Isn't she yours? Just like the Guthrie? The demons will see and obey. But…" He looks around as if to say 'WAND might not'. Or maybe that's 'The humans might not'. Best to be safe, in K'nert's opinion.

He's still looking between Koa and Sam watching their interactions. And keeping an eye on Elena as she returns to her mother.

The command from the child gets a seriously ugly demon walking in. One that comes to stand by her looking nervously between Sam, Illyana and Elena herself. Keiko is not deemed to be a threat - she doesn't have her sewing needles - and Koa is behind the desk. And thus safe. Right?

"Blood." The demon encourages again. "Sign with blood. I'll take it."

"The hell you will." Koa says, looking exasperatedly between K'nert and the new demon. His glare is apparently so intense that said demon decides to try to hide under Sam's chair.

It doesn't FIT, but it's gonna try anyway.

Sam Guthrie sighs, "Pen oughtta be just fine. Ain't nobody signin' away nothin'. Just testifyin' that they're tellin' the truth and they don't mean no harm. Straighten things out so they can get legal ID and establish residency. Human stuff, in other words," he says.

The new demon makes Sam shake his head, "My great-grandpa the preacher's gotta be spinnin' in his grave so fast he's throwin' dirt to Tennessee," he mutters to himself.

Illyana Rasputina looks thoughtful, but not in her usual pondering manner. She looks almost… worried as her gaze tracks Elena. She might need to talk to Sam later. He's used to dealing with kids, right? Illyana has the feeling neither Keiko or herself are going to be able to help her learn to be more. Well. Human. She should tell Elena how humans like to be asked before you enter their space, but she can't really suggest that *herself*. Especially with K'nert lurking about. And let's be honest, there's almost always some demons lurking around Illyana.

"She is Keiko and my brother's, and both of them are mine. So yes, she's also mine, so far as you're concerned imp." If Illyana objects to Koa's casual violence with one of her critters, it certainly doesn't show.

That the demon is trying to cram itself under Sam's chair, and thus bumping it about like a circus ride shouldn't make Illyana laugh. It shouldn't. Okshecan'thelpit. Illyana hides a snicker behind the notebook.

"Elena." Keiko holds her hands out and pulls the girl into her lap. The way her eyes start to go yellow is a sure sign the spirit caller isn't happy. Yet she says nothing to the demons. Illyana's there and that's enough.

However, her foot twitches rather violently when K'nert lands on it, upsetting the imps balance as he scuttles for the lamp.

"Alright then …" she takes the pen and signs. It's childish handwriting that spells her name. Barely literate.

"And she's the Sword's. The sort is also yours right boss?"

Koa's eyes shift into green at the mention of that sword. They've stopped randomly changing color, at least, but they do still change whenever his mood does. Whether or not that's an improvement Koa hasn't said.

"Why would she be the sword's?"

"It had her sire's soul when she was born." K'nert responds.

Koa gives Keiko a worried look. That sword vanished into Limbo when he was fighting with Piotr and Keiko and hasn't resurfaced.

The larger and less talky of the two demons continues to try to cram himself under Sam's chair and at this point has lifted it most of the way off the ground. Unfortunately it's back is not flat and it's position keeps shifting so that makes the chair MOST unstable.

And possibly more amusing.

When Keiko signs Koa takes the paperwork and drags it back toward him. Slowly. Keeping an eye on K'nert. No, he can't have this.

After a moment he reaches up and hands Illyana a set for her. And for Piotr. And for Mikhail.

"You can sign all three if you like, we'll just witness them and I'll drop off the new ID cards and such at your house later."

"Are you going to make him a demon like the others?"

The others. Piotr tanked a BUNCH of corruption in Limbo. So did Keiko. And Elena was born there. Koa? Well, Koa seems pretty normal, but it seems like K'nert is talking about Sam and not Koa.

"Are you going back there to live? This isn't your world anymore." That's directly to Keiko.

Bump. The skinned dog thing FINALLY gets all the way under Sam's chair.

It is not at all hidden. But it has lifted the chair COMPLETELY off the ground.

That sword. Illyana frowns at the reminder of it. She looks over to Koa. "It was forged it out of the Soulsteel I got from Siffror." Not 'we got'. Not in 'mixed' company, as it were. Her expression tightens further. "And I think it still has a piece of him." Which might not be coming back out. Illyana needs to find that damned (literally) thing, but so far she hasn't had a lot of luck.

Illyana reaches out for the paperwork, a pen appearing in her hand. It's probably familiar to Koa, even if he hasn't had it in several months. Where Keiko's penmanship is nearly nonexistent, Illyana's could be used to illuminate manuscripts. Koa is likely already familiar with it from her notes she gave him earlier.

Unlike Keiko, Illyana reads every damned line before signing. Luckily, she also reads very quickly. The blonde sorceress pauses mid-signature at K'nert's question. "No, K'nert. I like him human." She doesn't argue the status of the others. She has the feeling that won't get her far.

Sam Guthrie just stands up, which seems like it should solve that particular problem more than a little bit. He shakes his head, "Just as important, I like me human. I ain't got the right constitution for bein' a demon. Too nice. Instead o' roastin' people over pits, I'd just be makin' 'em marshmallows and takin' 'em for nature walks. Well. admittedly, ain't much nature in Limbo," he says.

He leans over and kisses Illyana on the cheek, then takes the paperwork himself, "I'll go file this with an actual human, so the clerk ain't terrified out of her Depends. I'll be home after work. Don't kill each other, y'all, remember you're family," he says, then heads out the door.

It's the only thing K'nert could say that gets a response from Keiko. The spirit caller resists the urge to pull her daughter close. "She is mine." Not the Swords. Not Piotrs - even though she is. Elena is Keiko's and she'll fight anyone or anything that comes after the child.

"Remember what I did to those in Limbo." Her eyes are completely yellow now. "That will be nothing to what I will do."

As to going back to Limbo? No comment.

K'nert's eyes follow Sam out. He hisses something in demonic to the other demon who gruffs in response. Koa gives them both a flat look.

Finally the demon comes down from the lamp and peers at the pink box.

"Leave. The. Doughnuts." Koa says in three very precisely clipped words.

K'nert glaces up at Keiko warily, and then to Illyana. Then he bows and melts back into the shadows.

Koa sighs as he sinks back into his chair.

"You two sticking around?" He says glancing between.

In response he sees stepping disks flare, removing Kieko, Illyana and Elena.

"Right then…" Koa pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment and then gets up, walks around his desk, picks up the chair Sam was in and kicks the demon underneath to get it's attention.

It looks up at him.

"Scat." He says flatly.

Moments later there is only Koa in the office.

Koa, and a whole bunch of new concerns.

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