2019-06-22 - Always In My Mind


Kelly checks in on the new, improved? Jemma.

Log Info:

Storyteller: None
Date: Sat Jun 22 08:04:24 2019
Location: Triskelion - Medical Bay

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Theme Song



Shield Med Bay is quiet at the moment. There's only one patient in residence and except for the crushed pieces of equipment, she's not really any bother.

Jemma is sitting up in the bed, the blanket and sheet covering her legs up to her waist. The cybernetic arm and implants on her face are clearly visible and it's probably not surprising that she's a tablet she's working on.

Kelly Dehaven knew Jemma was awake, of course. She's still 'plugged in' to both Jemma's cybernetics and the biochem's mind. It's really useful when she's got an I/O port in her head. Two birds, one brainjack.

The short redhead still has her labcoat on over blouse and jeans today. The latter are rolled up into capris and she's got athletic shoes on. When she arrives, she lingers in the doorway, hands in her coat pockets, just watching Jemma for a moment. And listening. "It sounds like you're doing better." She finally says, speaking up but not stepping across that threshold yet.

Kelly's been getting all sorts of interesting stuff from Jemma throughout the day. She might not recognise a lot of it except for 'chemistry' - valances and bonds, periodic table elements, things more advanced. In addition to that there's three things that seem constant 'Reverbium', 'AIM' and 'Thunderbolt'.

It's not clear if they are all related.

"Kelly…" Jemma looks up as the redhead speaks, offering a very slight smile. Before this, Jemma used to smile a lot - will she ever again? "I … am. Sounds? Was I talking to myself again?"

"I believe I owe you my thanks…" she gestures, inviting the woman to come in.

After a moment's hesitation, Kelly steps into the room and closes that distance over to Jemma's bed. There's something to the way she moves, shoulders and head a bit down, her feet leading the way like she has to pull herself in. "No, not while I was standing there, anyhow." Kelly assures her. "But you know, watercooler talk." And listening to Jemma's brain like a 24 hr Science Channel.

Kelly gives a slightly strained smile herself. "I think you've got a list." She shares with the biochem. "I hope you're good at Christmas shopping."

"Oh…" Jemma shifts her arm, aiming to move it under the covers. Out of sight. "I suppose you're right. You all bought me back and then the Doctors…"

The biochem frowns though when she takes in Kelly's demeanour "Are you hurt, Kelly?" she winces as the neural implant spikes. Kelly will feel that as well most likely

Kelly Dehaven's face screws up a bit as Jemma's pain echoes down the link to her. Both she and Roy have been taking portions of Jemma's pain, mostly because Kelly isn't proficient enough yet to have those internal barriers to keep everyone's thoughts firmly in their own head.

"No, no, I'm fine." Kelly assures Jemma, even though it really doesn't look like she was. "But yea, the team got you out, then the doctors here, then Roy and I and some of the other guys helped settle you down…"

Kelly's gaze dips down to where Jemma tries to hide her arm. Even if she couldn't see into Jemma's head, she'd recognize that gesture. Kelly offers a wan smile to the other woman. "You don't have to hide it from me." She says gently.

"Kelly? I recognise pain you know." Jemma's been hiding the extent of the pain she's been experiencing, knowing it will pass in the fullness of time. That she knows her 'treatment' was experimental is enough for her to also know that there's damn little else to be done.

Of course, it's not just the physical pain that Kelly and Roy have been sharing. The emotional turmoil, if she lets her mind rest, threatens to overwhelm her.

In addition, the snippets she's been getting from the other two are just put down to the 'bedding in' process.

"I … " the biochem glances at her arm and sighs. "I don't know why I was really. I … guess it's just all too new."

"You feel like less of yourself? Less than human?" Kelly asks, echoing thoughts she herself felt after the psisteel project transmuted her own arms. Things she knows Roy has felt before as well.

When Jemma points out the pain, Kelly sighs. Casting her gaze about she finds a chair and drags it over so she can sit down next to the other woman, folding her gloved hands in her lap. Gloves she wears so others don't have to see her inhuman hands.

Blowing out a breath, she looks up, green eyes meeting Jemma's. "Do you remember when we managed to pull you out of your… tailspin?"

"I … yes, I think that's it." Jemma nods. "Numb in places but … alive in others. My mind seems so much … brighter, I guess? And my arm. I forget that's not my arm anymore but a piece of machinery. There's also my eye of course …" She shakes her head, watching as Kelly takes a seat, eyes dropping to the gloves for a moment. There's a twinge of something through that link with Kelly. Fear? Not quite. Disconcerted.

"Only vaguely, Kelly. I remember coming to with you working on my arm and Roy holding me. Something receding from around my face. I remember … speaking with my Dad."

Kelly Dehaven draws a deep breath and lets it out. She could try to keep going without saying anything. She could pull the connection and just… let it go. But that wouldn't be fair to Jemma, would it?

"I was working on your arm." Kelly admits. "I wired into your cybernetics so I could try and adjust the system on the fly." Since Jemma was 'active'. "But those are just bolt-ons to *you*. The real problem was in your mind, and it wouldn't accept the connections because you were do distraught."

Wouldn't it be fair to Jemma? To pull the connection? It would leave her alone with her thoughts. Is it dangerous? Possibly. Would she be lonely? Yes. Even more lonely than she'd been before this happened.

Jemma processes that. Kelly can almost see the see it as Jemma does. "You wired into my cybernetics … you connected to me." she says quietly. "And you … helped adjust my mind so I could accept what had been done. That's not on your file, Kelly."

She's not angry or hurt. A bit confused, but that's understandable. If anything, Kelly can feel the wonder at such a thing.

Kelly Dehaven's fingers fidget in her lap. "No." She admits. "It's not. It's not something I'm especially good at, either. But.. I knew that if I didn't, you were going to keep fighting the implants and you would die." It wasn't like it was something they could just disconnect her from, like Roy's arm. Jemma's are too integrated.

"We were able to get you calmed down so your systems could synch. I was afraid that you'd relapse though so I'm mmmm, I'm still in your head?" It's not really a question, but her uncertainty gives her words that rising intonation that's common with a question.

"I'm still connected …." Jemma frowns and pulls up her tablet, sliding the screen till a notepad comes up. "These aren't mine, are they?" They're not. They're fragments of something Kelly had been working on earlier. Not much and nothing coherent but something had bled through.

She's not sure how to process that. Her mind whirls and it might be a bit disconcerting for the other scientist.

"Is it dangerous, Kelly? You said you're not especially good at it."

Kelly Dehaven tilts her head side to side. "Isn't everything dangerous?" The flippant remark is offered with a strained smile before she shakes her head. "It's not dangerous in any way that I'm aware of. But, I don't have a lot of practice. And, yes." The redhead nods to Jemma's notes. "You're getting some bleedover from me."

Kelly closes her eyes a moment as Jemma's thoughts take off in a dozen directions at once. It would probably be really overwhelming for her, if she didn't multitask so well herself. "I think right now it's like… We're all on the same network, and we all have sharing on. And we need to tweak the permissions a bit."

"I suppose you're right. They used modified Death Lok protocols to save my life. No one had even thought of that till the need arose." She doesn't sound bitter but there is a degree of sadness. The Jemma Simmons that was no longer exists. She's not sure quite who she is anymore.

We?" Jemma hadn't connected the third presence in that connection. It doesn't take long. Maybe it's the image of Roy that flashes in her head or maybe she finally made the connection of Roy in that memory. "Roy as well?" There's the faintest of colour that rises to her cheek. She might have … experienced an initimate moment between the two.

"How how do we do that?" She's still fascinated about how all this works though.

One of the things about being a redhead with that fair skin. There is absolutely no hiding the blush as Jemma picks up on who that other presence is. Jemma can pick up some of the mild mortification from Kelly. Jemma's one of the senior eggheads! Kelly writes *reports* to her!

"Roy and I are uh, well, he didn't need y'know, quite the same *ahem* tweaking as you. It was really more a personal choice?" Again with the rising intonation that's not really a question. But then she gets quite serious. "If he wasn't, I wouldn't have been able to get you out in the first place. The system I was accessing… it had a *mind* of some kind in there and it was attacking me. I was only able to get you out because *he* took the brunt of that mental attack." And that's not the only way he's helped her to accomplish things she wouldn't be able to have done by herself. "When you were, for lack of a better term 'freaking out', Roy was the one that helped me work through the strength of your emotions so we could help you find a way home."

As to how they tweak the permissions? Kelly takes a deep breath, and then lets it out. "Well. I have a few thoughts. But I could really use someone to bounce ideas off of." Perhaps a bit literally. She offers a tentative little smile to the other scientist. Do you wanna do a project?

It's sort of motification inception at the moment. Jemma realising what she had spied and Kelly realising that. Jemma's colour rises and coughs, struggling to settle her mind and get focus again. "No harm, no foul?" She finally says. Oi, this could get awkward if they got this sorted out.

As Kelly explains about Roy, Jemma wonders how that came be. Had Roy asked for it? Maybe he did - Kelly had said personal choice. She doesn't ask, but the thoughts are there, radiating from her mind with no filter.

There's a look of horror as Jemma realises what Kelly is saying "Then I him more thanks than I've given. Was he … harmed?"

She's quiet though as Kelly explains the next bit. That insatiable curiousity rising again. "You want to use me as a guinea pig? And a … lab partner?"

"Well, I'm kind of proposing to use *all* of us as guinea pigs and asking you to help me devise the protocols." Kelly corrects. "I am asking if you want me to remove, well, me I suppose." At this point she feels the need to explain a bit.

"I've done preliminary research into telepathy, and in most instances it's like everyone's accepting bluetooth connections and the telepath just sort of hops into whichever one they want." One of the things that frightens people about teeps. "I don't. I connect in a manner similar to how I hardwire into computer systems, and I maintain a remote connection the same way." Which *is* something in her general file.

Kelly nods to the temple access point Jemma has. "That's not just a port cover. That's uhm. Me. It's what's keeping me connected to your mind and your cybernetics at the moment. If I remove it, then poof. Gone."

Jemma has done similar research into telepathy. It's a little difficult because so many Teeps are reluctant to come forward, even though registration has ended. She nods slowly.

"I don't know Kelly. Do I want you gone? How much regulation are you doing for me at the moment?" Of course she'd ask a logical question.

Kelly Dehaven's expression shifts to something a little like a wince. "A… bit." She admits. "Mostly bleeding off some of the excessive data from the cybernetics to give your mind a bit more 'breathing room', so you don't start to be overwhelmed. That keeps your emotions from spiking and then I don't need to try to actively fiddle with your thoughts and emotions. I really am trying to stay hands-off there." She offers a small smile and then continues in a bit of a rush, "But you're really good at processing data! A lot better than others, and I'm sure you'll do fine now…"

Jemma snorts a little as Kelly tries to 'build her up'. She probably does process data much better than others, those neural implants are just going to help that. Still it's a lot to think about.

"Let me start by saying that I don't want to melt down at an inappropriate time but I also don't want to be a burden on you. I appreciate that what you are doing. I can't imagine what it has cost." She takes a breathe. "You say you're still taking a bit of my 'processing'. What's the risk do you think if you disconnected? Can you … turn it off for a moment, see how I manage? Or is it just not that easy?"

Lots of questions. A Scientists bread and butter.

Kelly Dehaven wasn't lying about anything! Just.. being positive.

"I multitask and multi-thread really well, so I just kind of set the back of my brain to dealing with it." Kelly might have accidentally set it into *Roy's* mind at first. Luckily he picked up Something Weird was going on and poked her. She needs to better define what her own brainspace is…

"Oh, yeah. Just… pull it out." Having an I/O port on Jemma's head makes it easy to 'plug in' to her. Since Kelly can shape the chrome-like metal, it's a perfect fit with a flat cover. "Once it's more than a few inches from your brain, I can't reach you." At least it's got that much range, so she doesn't need to do exploratory surgery to get a mindlink…

"That easy?" Jemma looks at Kelly wondering at the chipper nature. In a way the redhead reminds her of someone she knows. That memory filters through to Kelly, Jemma's not got the knack of turning it off. She doesn't think to.

The plug does start to move as Jemma removes it, the connection is lost. The light in Jemma's eye flashes and the monitor she's connected starts to go mad. Yeah, Kelly was doing more than a bit.

As long as people believe her, the fact that Kelly can't go just plucking their thoughts out of their head from across the room should usually put people at ease, so no reason not to be chipper, right?

There's a slight scrunching of Kelly's nose as the connection is broken. It's a lot more noticeable to *her* when something drops off the 'network'. When the monitors start to freak out, Kelly winces and rises to her feet. She pulls off her gloves, holding her hands out towards Jemma while watching that monitor since Kelly no longer has the direct line in to the biochem's cybernetics, either. If it doesn't look like Jemma is able to steady it a bit, Kelly will reach out to reestablish the link and (hopefully) bring her back under control. The telepathic connection is the key one here. She can get to the cybernetics through Jemma's mind.

Jemma's emotional control isn't great at the moment, the Death Lok protocols have really messed with her. They were designed to deal with those who had passed. Jemma hadn't - they'd implanted her before she did and saved her life in the meantime.

She can't steady herself, the cover that she was removing is crushed in her hand. Whether it's that easily is destroyed, is a good question.

Kelly can reestablish control but she's going to have to get those emotions settled down. It's a swirling maelstrom as she makes the connection.

PAIN slams into Kelly, making her stumble as Jemma crushes the psi-steel and echoes down the link to Roy. Not as bad as if the psychic connection was terminated, but damage done to the psisteel is damage done to Kelly.

Luckily, Kelly isn't far from Jemma. As she reaches out with her hand, her whole arm and fingers thin and lengthen, reaching out to touch Jemma's brow so Kelly can relink with the other scientist. At least she has some familiarity with Jemma's mind and how it works with the implants now. The redhead takes a bit heavier hand than she normally would with another's mind, trying to calm Jemma down so she can get herself back into control.

Experimental technology is interesting. There's no manual for it, no FAQ's. Kelly's psi-steel is nearly that as well. Possibly less experimental as it is accidental.

Jemma's mind reacts as the connection is made. It tries to fight Kelly's control now it knows what it is. Jemma's not really there, it's a mix of her memories. Devon, The Academy, Various Missions and perhaps worse, the moment she was infected by the bio-weapon. That might resonate with Kellys own experience.

The heavier hand is definitely needed and slowly, Kelly can feel her control take over.

Kelly Dehaven isn't *trying* to go sifting through Jemma's memories, but it's hard to actively be in someone's head and not get them. Like walking through a cave and not running into some spiderwebs. Or well, somewhere that spiders like to hang out. Like Queens!

Kelly doesn't try to get the mangled piece of her back from Jemma yet, just re-shapes another piece to fit into the port so if Jemma has a reaction that involves forcefully separating them, she'll be able to maintain the link.

Of course Kelly isn't trying to sift through the memories, it's probably a function of the protocols that were used. They need to be adjusted, to make Jemma remember she's Jemma and not dying again. They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die, right?

The monitor starts to settle, the frantic beeps returning to a more normal pattern. Jemmas mind starts to settle into something more natural, the swirl of memories fading into the background - Kelly might imagine she can see the compartments that Jemma uses.

"Kelly … it didn't work did it?"

Kelly Dehaven breathes a sigh of relief, her head falling forward as she does so. Only once she's satisfied that Jemma seems to be coming back to herself does Kelly reach out to touch the psisteel in Jemma's hand to reabsorb it back into herself.

The redhead looks back up, her deep green eyes meeting Jemma's and her expression one that doctors the world over are familiar with. The one where they give someone bad news. Kelly just shakes her head.

Jemma is shaking, trembling. A rush of adrenaline tends to do that.

"I'm sorry. Did I … hurt you? It was … wild, really. There's no regulation to what I'm feeling, it's just everything all at once." she swallows and sits back herself.

"So you're stuck with me? Unless they take me offline till they can fix it." That's a possibility.

Kelly Dehaven holds up a hand, thumb and forefinger a spare distance apart. "Little bit. You're stronger than you look now." Kelly tries to joke, but the pain from the damage done lingers as a psychic echo and she brings one hand to her temple as she winces slightly.

"I'm sure it just takes a bit to get used to it." The redhead assures her. "And I wouldn't say I'm 'stuck' with you. I asked you to stay in." Kelly reminds her before swaying a bit.

"I uh, I think I need to go lie down a bit though." Between the psychic backlash and settling Jemma's systems to right, she's suddenly very worn out.

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