2019-06-20 - Holy S**t! A Talking Bear!

Summary:

There's a bear in the abandoned subway; Bluebird goes to see what's up.

Log Info:

Storyteller: None
Date: Thu Jun 20 03:07:58 2019
Location: Subway - Abandoned Tunnel

Related Logs

None

Theme Song

None

harper-rowmikhail-ursus

Harper will have gotten a few reports of something unusual in the subway. That happens sometimes. Morlocks. Crocodiles. Giant spiders. That sort of thing. It was New York, after all, and plenty of foul and eldritch things liked to call the underground home.

First time she'd been called in for a bear, though.

She finds what looks to be a nest, of sorts. Big piles of cardboard boxes, blankets, a lot of empty liquor bottles. A…rifle?

This is not a typical bear.

Bears. Bears. Never in her life she'd be called down into the abandoned part of New York over a bear.

Granted, Harper Row was supposed to show up to figure out what was going on with the rumors and the flashing lights, but it was Bluebird who showed up in full.. Bluebird regalia. She was armed to the teeth, but kept everything sheathed. Examining the room with a critical eye, her footsteps quiet as she was tought, approaching the rifle as slow as she does with a hand outstretched to take.

A bear. "Hah." She says quietly. "Probably some fat ass.."

One of the piles of blankets stirs and a voice comes out from underneath it, a little slurred and heavily accented in Russian.

"How dare you? I am fit as fiddle. Bass fiddle, but still. Fiddle," Mikhail says.

He sits up, shaking a bit of fluff and loose stuffing out of his hair, dressed in just a somewhat stained wifebeater and a pair of camo pants. He's thick, no doubt, with broad shoulders and a barrel chest, but he seems to be in decent shape. If you don't count the bloodshot eyes.

"Girl, do me favor. Get vodka out of big box of…vodka," he says, gesturing towards a cardboard box shoved up under the archway, "Breakfast time."

The first words of 'how dare you' have her immediately snatching the rifle and jumping back. "Hooo-ley.." She snaps out, her instincts proven wrong, or true by snapping up the rifle with the butt against her shoulder. While she keeps a loose aim, she aims nonetheless, not her weapon of choice but the area pointed to was non-lethal.

"You.. what?" He.. he wasn't a bear. In fact he was probably some sad and sorry drunkard who had no other place to go. And funnily enough, she abided.

Rifle kept in hand, she moves over towards the indicated box, shuffling around inside until she finds the bottle of vodka. She looks at it, shakes it, then tosses it in his direction, daring to not step closer.

"So. What're you doing down here, dude?"

Mikhail Ursus narrows his eyes, "What it look like? Sleeping, mostly. I had apartment, but landlady and I had…disagreement. She thought I owed her money and I didn't have any. Common disagreement. Not first time it happen to me," he shrugs.

"So I make do. What are you doing down here, girl? Also, be careful, not sure I put the safety on that. I don't think it's loaded, but you never know." he says, reaching out and taking the bottle, unscrewing the cap and then taking a long swig.

Harper looks down at the rifle, twists it back and forth, shakes it.. then tosses it to the side. "Got reports of a bear." She says, slowly taking stock of the room yet again, this time pacing, her foot lifting a piece of cardboard up to see what's underneath, then moving to the far wall where the electrical service is.

"I mean, you're big enough to be a bear but I'm pretty sure your ass can't growl like one. Anyways. You should probably get up out of here. I don't know where you can go or if you can find some lady to shack up with for a week of fun but, you can't stay here."

Mikhail Ursus nods, "Yeah, I am bear," he says. "I can show you, but you get scared and maybe run away. But I am bear. Sometimes. Not all the time. WHen I want to be. Or when I am angry. Or really drunk."

He shrugs, "I will move, is no problem. I just don't like going in the park. Too many people. Too many horses. Horses do not like bears."

"Eh.." Harper wrinkles her nose behind her weird ass mask. "Sure. You're either drunk or a mutant.." Harper bends down to pick up a bag, kneeling to carefully rummage through it. Thankfully, her hands were covered in gloves. "I've seen some of the worst 'round here. So if you -are- a mutant and am inclined to actually show me how trans-formy you'll be, be my guest." And.. he better have a diaper handy. Cause she'll piss herself.

"I think I have enough money in the bank to get you some food or whatever. Proper food. Shelter though? You're kind of on your own."

Mikhail Ursus nods, "Mutant," he admits, "And drunk. Drunk mutant," he says. At the display request, he reaches down and tugs his shirt up over his head, "Sure, I sh ow you. But I only have a couple sets of clothes, so I'm going to save these by taking them off. Turn around if you have to, but I am not shy. I was in Russian army. Thousands have seen my block and tackle," he says.

And, once he's stripped, he'll just casually shrug, scratch his scalp and then suddenly morph, his body bulging, extending, rippling, growing befurred.

And then he's a bear. A really, really fucking big bear.

"See? I am bear." he says.

"Uh huh." Harper wasn't even looking up. She was looking around to try to salvage anything that the strange man might need. Aside from fighting, the once former and probably still member of the Batfam is all about helping first, fighting last.

But when he starts to strip, Harper immediately stands! She was no stranger to the box and tackle but… "Woah woah hey hey hey!"

And then he shifts. It was enough to turn her stomach, her hand pressing against her lips as she tries her best not to scream, or worse, vomit.

"Jesus fucking christ!" She spits out. The girl in her wanted to run screaming. The vigilante in her wanted to fight him straight up! But the scientist in her.. "Holy fucking shit you're a talking bear!" A -really- big fucking bear!

Mikhail Ursus scratches his belly, "Technically, I am mutant who takes shape of bear, but am not really bear. Old bosses had a lot of paperwork about it. I don't know. I look like bear to me, so sure, I am bear," he says. "I will not hurt you, though. I do not go crazy or anything, am still just me," he says.

He plops down on his big bear bottom and shows surprising adeptness in grabbing the bottle of vodka, "Bozhe moi, I'm glad I already unscrewed the cap. Those are a bitch with bear paws, yes?"

"Ahhhh ahahhahaha.." Harper uneasily laughs. Sure she was probably hitting that psychotic point because seeing is actually believing. She's seen some stuff sure, but it usually attacks. This one is actually holding a conversation with her.

"I.." Well she didn't know what to say. She certainly wasn't going to approach either. "Jesus fucking christ.."

Mikhail Ursus nods his big bear head, "I know. Is a lot. Imagine how my mother felt. One day, she has handsome young boy, athlete, hard worker. Not so smart, maybe, but no big deal. Is Russia. Most people not so smart."

"Then one day my shithead stepfather hits her and I lose my temper and…well…he still limps, I am told," he says, with a bit of a smile. "Stupid bastard. But, y'know, Mother did not take it as well as I would like. You are doing better. No screaming at all."

"Ah..haha.." Harper lets out again! Still! Like.. "What the fucking jesus christ shit.." She spits out. Like.. what do you do with that?!

"What does anyone do with.. THAT!" She gestuers at him. "Like.. I'm used to mutherfuckers swanging from buildings and.. you know, people throwing darts and shit and.." What the fuck! "..Jesus fucking christ!"

Mikhail Ursus nods, "Yup. Is not usual, not even for mutants. Even other mutants tend to be a bit freaked out. Which is weird. Like, if I had tentacles growing out of my taint, they would welcome me with open arms. But bear? Oh, bear is too weird," he says, shaking his head.

"So yeah, not always easy to make money. Or keep apartment. Except when I do mercenary stuff, which I do sometimes. I suppose I should go down to Brighton Beach, look for some Russian mafias. They are good for work if you are not picky. And they hang in strip clubs. I do like strip clubs."

Harper had to wrap her mind around it all; so with a forcible march forward, she snatches the drink from his hand and quickly takes a swig! The burn was enough to get her a little pumped, and that 'pumped' was enough to keep her from vomiting.

"Hookay. Back up." Harper waves her hand, sloshing the drink around. "You are a bear. Who wants to go to the strip club with the other Russians. To look for mercenary work, if I heard that right?" She takes another swig, then offers it back out to the bear. Sure she shouldn't be within swiping distance, but while she was having her mini freak out that she probably will NOT recover from right away, he was being nice to her.

Mikhail Ursus cocks his giant bear head, "You were listening. Good for you. Most just can only hear screaming in own heads when first see talking bear. You are strong woman. Are you fertile?"

He takes the bottle back adn takes another long swig, his muzzle latching around the neck of the bottle and guzzling a bit, "I am soldier of fortune. Mostly soldier, not much fortune. Is joke, yes?"

"Learned from the best I guess." She takes another step back, then humps her shoulders at the last question. She totally wasn't going to give him a verbal okay.

"I see what you did there." Harper, still uneasy, nods and forces a smile. It was a good joke, but she.. already had her crazy fit of laughing. "Okay, so.." She was back to pacing now, folding her arms about her chest. "..deduction. You scared away people that came down here to try to cozy up in your spot. Didn't kill anyone, which is a good sign. You are pretty cool for a big ass bear, don't know what sign that is. You -are- willing to move without a fight, which is definitely good for me. And you just need a job." She pauses. She can't even believe she's asking this.

"Other than soldiering. What else you good at? City is hiring, pretty sure I can do a few favors to get you into a job with some decent health insurance."

Mikhail Ursus blinks, "I…am very strong? I can use hammer and basic tools. I am man, after all," he says. "I am good at shooting guns and playing poker. Well. I like to play poker. I do not know if I am good at it," he chuckles, a weird sound to hear come from the throat of a nine foot tall brown bear.

"I am good at security. Security is kind of what I did, only security for…Russia and not for subway."

Harper listens, her brain working. "I know! Construction!" There never has been a day when someone had offered a bear a job. Maybe in the Jungle Book, but apparently that doesn't count.

"Alright, I'm going to gather up your stuff and get you out of here. I think they may be repurposing this room for something, or at least attempting to get me killed."

Mikhail Ursus nods, "I suppose I should stop being bear, if we are going back upstairs," he says, then gives a massive bear burp. There's a momentary shrivelling and a bit of a crunching sound as his fur recedes and he reduces in size, resuming the form of the stocky Russian she saw earlier.

Except, you know…naked.

"I will get dressed."

DO NOT LOOK HARPER!

The sound alone was gross enough; but Harper busies herself with gathering things that look of worth to put it into the bag that was already half filled. The box with the liquor, left. His clothes nearby? Untouched. In fact, she would not look until he was done.

"Sorry about all the swearing." She finally said. "I usually don't. I mean I do? But.. you're not really unsavory." Was that a compliment. "You're actually a pretty nice guy, especially since I kinda am coming into your space and kicking you out."

Mikhail Ursus buckles his pants and grins crookedly, "I am not as bad as seem, no. Do not get me wrong. I am bad, bad man and done bad things, but I am not…mean. I just do what I have to do, yes? Can't be nice person if you wind up dead and I had plenty of people try and kill me over years. I am, what you call, nice trophy."

"Well tell you what, Mister." Harper says as she finally turns around. Thank god he was dressed. "Meet me.. at Shakey's Smoke Shack in Harlem." She nods her head. "I'm going to go and check on a few things and get you hooked up at my old place. I don't live there anymore, but the super lets me crash there when I need a quiet night from the kid."

She pauses.

"My little brother. Not my kid. Don't need you attempting to count my cycle on first meet."

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