2019-05-01 - Spiderpool 101

Summary:

Gwen has a surprise in store for Deadpool…

Log Info:

Storyteller: None
Date: Wed May 1 23:35:59 2019
Location: RP Room 2

Related Logs

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Theme Song

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gwenwade-wilson

|ROLL| Wade Wilson +rolls 1d20 for: 11

|ROLL| Gwen +rolls 1d20 for: 14

It's a long, long way to the rooftop of a high rise when you can't climb walls or web your way up there. Deadpool is a good twenty minutes late to the time he and Spider-Gwen agreed to meet, and as he emerges from a door that leads onto this rooftop, he's breathing heavily. "So," he says, "I couldn't take the elevator, because there was this really like, actually good security guard. You know, actually out there doing shit, not sitting behind a desk eating donuts and watching porn on his phone, so…" He stops near Gwen, hands pressed onto his hips. "I had to take the stairs."

Gwen is sitting on the edge of an air conditioning unit, swinging her feet. Her mask is pulled up far enough to reveal her mouth and nose, and she is eating a banana.

"You shoulda said something. I could have given you a tug."

Behind the mask, Wade smirks. "That's an awfully long tug," he answers. "What if I went back down before you got me all the way up?" There's a double entendre in his tone. He hops right on up to the same air conditioning unit, squeezing his butt next to hers before reaching up to pull the mask off his face. "So, is this, like… spidering 101?" he asks, genuinely curious. "Rooftops, bananas, waiting for someone to scream for help? Also, hi. Nice to see the lower half of your face again. Body's not half bad, too."

"You doubt my ability to keep you up till I get you there?" Gwen asks incredulously. "Well, I guess I'll just have to prove myself to you." She shrugs. "I figure you gotta earn those web-spinners, cause once you get 'em, I want you to appreciate them." The bottom half of her face smirks with a mischievous and lopsided grin. "Spidering 101. I like it." She looks Wade over for a moment takes another bite of banana. "You look good today, too. That spandex, though….it makes /every/ day a good day."

"I don't doubt a thing," Wade answers matter-of-factly. "I've seen how hard you pull." And to think, this is him actually behaving. "I'd show you Deadpooling 101, but, you've already seen me explode."

The compliment has him looking upon Gwen with an incredulous expression. "Good God," he says, dramatically. "I could marry you." He suddenly leaps from the air conditioning unit and strikes a pose right in front of Gwen. "Spandex! It shows every curve, every muscle, and makes every day a good day!" He makes a bodybuilder's stance, arm all cocked up and showing off those impressive biceps. "They should give me a sponsorship."

Breaking the pose, he hops right up so that he's perched upon Gwen's lap, his legs all bent up beside her so that his boots are on the air conditioner, arms holding onto its sides, butt right in her lap. "Everyone at the wedding has to wear spandex. Even my somewhat misbalanced best friend. Kinda gangly with a little beer belly."

"So your best friend will look like a snake that swallowed a water balloon," Gwen observes, finishing her banana around Wade as if he's not an issue in the world, and then she pats his thigh. "You can't marry me till you convince me to agree to it," she observes matter-of-factly. "Who am I to deprive you of a challenge, after all?" She reaches up to give his bicep a squeeze. "Honk."

"Metaphors," Wade echoes, and it sounds as if for a moment he might swoon. "Something tells me your folks won't approve," he says with a big, teasing grin. "I mean, your mom's probably like… a supermodel, and your dad's some big Wall Street douche. Or a cop." A pause, head twisting a little. "Mall cop? No, wait." His fingers snap. "Wall Street mall cop."

When Gwen honks his bicep, he glances down to her chest for one daring moment, then looks over toward the camera/computer screen. "Nah," he says, and shakes his head, opting for just this shy side of decency. He then climbs down from Gwen and reaches for her hands, hoping to take them and lead her into something of a rooftop dance. "Spiiiiderrriiing 101," he says in a sing-song voice. "So, seriously, what do you do after… stuffing a banana into your mouth as if it's not supposed to get me excited."

"Well, after I twirl," Gwen begins, reaching up and taking his hand in hers, to twirl gracefully into a dip. "After that, we test out your webspinners," she replies, pulling out a small black canvas pouch and handing it over to Wade.

Wade catches her, suggesting that one time, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, he was quite the lead. He brings her back to her feet, but then his eyes grow wide when she pulls that surprise out of the proverbial bag. A big gasp comes, and he reaches forward to take the small pouch like a kid who was just given his fist X-Box at Christmas. "Whaaaaat?" he asks. "Are you serious??" He seems to stunned that he can't even open the bag to make sure she isn't jerking his chain.

"They're nothin' fancy," SpiderGwen cautions Wade as he fumbles with the bag. "They have their limitations. But they're the pair I started with…I learned to swing with them, and they treated me right. I made 'em all shiny and new again for you. In case you wondered why I called you here…" She grins, pulling her hood off for a moment to fluff her hair, as she gives Wade a chance to check out his new gear.

Once Wade finally has the webshooters out of the bag, he just stares at them for a long time. All of that goofiness and flamboyance that he wears as a shield seems to melt away for a moment, and when he looks back over to Gwen, it's not at all lost on him just how meaningful, at least he suspects, that it might be. "Well I think they're perfect," he tells her, then gathers them up into one hand so that he can reach for Gwen, grab her and pull her into a big, squeezing hug.

"Oh my god, I feel just like a little girl!" he says, and prances away for a moment, looking at them and jumping around. Then he comes back over to Gwen, eyes wide with excitement. "Show me how to put 'em on? I-I-I mean, Icouldprollyfigureitoutm'self, butIwantyoutashowme." He holds them out for Gwen to take, eyes begging. "C'moooon pretty pretty pretty please!??"

Gwen grins and reaches out for Wade. "Gimme your hands," she says, holding out her own. And once he calms down enough, Gwen slips the webshooters over his hands and secures them on his wrists. Soft silicone inside the wristbands give them grip on his suit. The mechanics go on the inside of the wrist, /here/, and that way the web will always lay across your palm. See?"

Once the webshooters are on his wrists, Wade turns them over and over, then aims his right hand at the night air and presses the trigger. A webline *thwips!* out into the air, and he's probably holding it down a bit too long (beginners gaffe). Once he releases it, he looks back to Gwen as if he'd just discovered chocolate for the first time.

Without missing another beat, he grabs her by the face and gives her a big, happy kiss. Two weblines suddenly shoot out behind Gwen, and Wade yelps, pulling away before they can get stuck to her. "That is too fucking cool!!" he tells her, then drops to take her hands again. "Please tell me we're gonna go web swinging. C'mon, I'm ready! It'll just be like airdrop training!"

"Well, if it were anyone else I would probably say let's get you some practice aiming…buuuut…." Gwen tilts her head. "I kinda feel like you've got this aiming thing down, given your uh…profession," she replies. "So…" She slips on her hooded mask and shrugs. "I figure we can try it out. Just be careful, cause you might not die if you fall, but I don't wanna have to scrape you up into a body bag just to get you somewhere you can heal. Deal?"

It sure is a good thing they're on a high-rise, not a mid- or low-rise! Granted, safety isn't as much a concern, at least for Wade.

"Deal," he tells her, before pulling the full hood back over his face, fixing it down inside his collar and making sure it's all sleek and the lines aren't crooked. "Hold on." He stops and looks at Gwen, head tilted. "You do have a body bag somewhere, right? Just in case?" He waits for a moment before making a gestures, laughing. "I'm just kidding!!" Turning, he walks up toward the edge of the rooftop, looking at the 30-some-odd floor drop. "Phew!" he says, and begins shaking out his limbs. "Okay, Deadpool. You've been waiting your whole life for this. Really, only like a year. But, still. You can do this, you can do this, you can do this."

Seems he's waiting on Gwen to go first.

"Actually, I do. And a sand pail shovel," she deadpans. She doesn't elaborate on the purpose of the shovel. She figures it goes without saying. "I didn't know that you wouldn't thwip off the second you got 'em on." She is nothing, if not practical. "So I'm gonna snag the top corner of that building, a balcony on /that/ one, and so on. Watch my placement, you should be fine. You'll get used to looking ahead for pivot points as time goes on." She smiles. "You /can/ do this." And with that, she turns and swan dives off the edge of the roof, firing off a web and using her pendular momentum to swing to her next two points. On the third, she swings onto the roof of a building slightly lower than where she started.

Wade continues to encourage himself verbally while watching Gwen. "Oooooh," he says of the swan dive, then winces a bit at the first swing. "Bam!" On the second, "Boooom!" Then on the third, he sighs. "Stuck the landing. Okay, okay." He rubs his hands together, then goes up to the very edge and eyeballs that first point, where Gwen's webline dangles with a sway in the breeze. "Maximum Effort!"

Wade leaps off the building and goes down, like a man who's trained to know how to drop. He's in a swan dive himself, picking up speed, then moves his arm to aim at that spot. A webline is fired, but he stops pressing the trigger too soon, so the line is too short. PLUS, he didn't consider the arc it would travel in. "Oh shit shit shit!"

Re-aiming, he fires and holds, waiting until the line catches. Then, he yanks on it with both hands. His body flips downward HARD and into the swing, causing some joints to crack. "Ooooh!" he yelps while swinging. Humans weren't made for this kind of muscle and joint torture! "OW!"

He's not very graceful as he swings toward the building, and he's still holding onto the first line when he doesn't need to be any longer. "Whoa!" he yelps, and fires the second one with MUCH more accuracy. This one isn't nearly as painful, considering he isn't YANKING his body from a freefall into a swing, but his pendular motion is entirely off and sends him right toward the building. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!!!"

Leaning backward, he plants his boots on the building and runs across it, treating the webline like a grappling wire. THAT… he's very much used to. "Gotcha!" he shouts, laughing hysterically until he runs out of line. "Wait. Oh, shit."

Not making it to the third point, Wade ends up swinging back and forth upon the side of the building, holding onto that webline with both hands. He cranes his neck up and calls to SpiderGwen, "Uh… how was that!?"

"GOOD! I should have started with a single point swing," she laments. "Hold on, coming for ya!" Gwen fires to a new point and swings from a dead stop, leaping toward Wade instead of the point itself. She reaches the apex of her swing just as she reaches Wade, and wraps an arm around his waist. "Gotcha!" And she swings back toward her pivot point, dropping with him onto a fire escape and setting him down next to her. "Easy peasy."

As soon as Gwen has him, Wade lets go of the webline and breathes a quiet sigh of relief. It's not that he was really afraid, but moreso that he didn't want this evening to end up with a body bag and a sandbox shovel. He holds onto her with both hands and a leg wrapped around her waist, until she's set him down safe and sound.

"That's what you think!" Wade tells her, then stretches his limbs with a grimace. "Jesus! Coming out of a swan dive into a swing? That hurts like hell!"

"Yeeeah, we should work on your flexibility and stuff. But it will get easier, too. Nothing is ever easy the first time…" SpiderGwen looks around at the buildings nearest them. "From here on out….one jump at a time. We'll work our way up from there, yeah?"

"I know how we can work on my flexibility," Wade remarks offhand, before waving his hands around and eyeballing the shooters. "I'm guessing these bad boys run on some kind of ammo," he says, then notices where the cartridges are plugged in. "Oooooohkay. Welp. Gonna need to make sure I don't run out, you know, after mooning the city from the spire of the Empire State Building."

Looking back to Gwen, he grins. "Okay, okay. One jump at a time. For now!"

"For now," Gwen agrees with a nod, but a smirk in her voice due to his ideas on flexibility. "Pivot point there," she says pointing to a boiler pipe spanning between their building and the next one over. She fires off a web at the pipe and uses her swing to carry her over onto the roof of the next. "You should be fine on ammo for now. It'll beep when it's low. But they hold enough for at least a couple of days' practice. C'mon over!"

"Phew!" Wade says, and this time he already has the webline attached to the pipe. His aim is pretty damn good, but then again, he is an expert marksman with all sorts of weapons. This time when he jumps, it's less of a hard YANK and more of an actual swing, and he comes in feet first, trying to be showy. When he does come upon the roof, he lets go of the webline and does a side-flip in the air, landing with precision, because he DOES know how to do that stuff and does it well.

"Okay, so, one at a time's easy peasy," he tells her. "I've used grappling lines before, you know. I say, we either move on to two at a time, or we get on with flexibility practice, right here, right now."

"I…uh. Yeah, two at a time. They key there is to be looking and wait for the right moment. It's almost always a split second after when you think it is," Gwen explains. "Fire at the apex, not before. You should be good at trajectory and stuff like that…" Gwen fires at the pipe again, and swings, then fires off another web toward a radio tower atop another building, swinging across and coming down at the foot of the tower, onto the roof.

This time, Wade barely waits. He fires his first line, swings like he's been doing this for ages, then fires at the radio tower. It's sloppy, and the tower creaks because of the fact that he caught it at the very edge. When Wade comes swinging up over the edge of the building, his body is bent all weird and his swing is much too wide, but he does circle around awkwardly and ends up skipping his feet against the rooftop a little bit before connecting. "Phew!" he says. "Whoa! Whoa, okay, okay, I don't know how you people don't piss in your tights every time you go swingin'," he says, walking toward Gwen with an exhilarated expression. "Because that shit right there?" He points back to where they came from. "That shit is AWESOME!"

"We can get you some adult diapers, if this is gonna be a problem," Gwen offers with a laugh. "I feel like you shouldn't have to worry about your bladder while you're swinging. It might distract you, and THEN where would we be?" She pulls a small plastic shovel from behind her back. Where she had it hidden is anyone's guess.

"No," Wade answers indignantly. "No depends. I wear red spandex, not yellow, and certainly not brown." At sight of the plastic shovel, he points at her, one eye-socket crooked while the other one squints. "Where…"

"Wouldn't YOU like to know?" Gwen grins and shrugs. "Fine. Suit yourself. Literally." She disappears the shovel again, and looks out over the buildings. "Ready to try a two point on your own? I'll follow directly behind ya."

"Oh, I think I do," Wade answers, before shuddering a little. "Um. Yeah. Okay." It takes him a moment to escape the distraction, but then he becomes all business. The initial excitement is over; now he needs to put his training to use. Spatial awareness, scanning surroundings, all that stuff they taught him in the military.

Suddenly, Wade is running full force toward the other end of the building. He leaps free and immediately fires a webline toward the corner of a building. When it catches, he swings down awkwardly, legs flailing for a moment until he forms up and yanks his body hard to the side. He barely skims the building, and ends up soaring across the street, where he fires a webline toward the far corner of the next building over. This time he swings hard to the other side, and pulls himself upon the webline with a growl.

Higher and higher, he eventually crests yet another building and lands upon the rooftop. His pattern, essentially, a Z.

"NOW you've got it!" Gwen is breathless as she follows behind Wade, anticipating his next pivot points and swinging past him, moving alongside him as much as possible. When she finally lands, Gwen erupts with a cheer and bounces excitedly. "That. Was. AWESOME."

"Whoooooooo!!" Wade shouts at the top of his voice, and turns around to run up and sweep Gwen off her feet, twirling her about in the air in a sort of super excited, adrenaline fueled hug. "That was beyond awesome. It was- it was- I don't even know!"

Gwen is twirled, and giggles madly as Wade spins with her. "I'm SO GLAD you like it. And also SO GLAD I haven't had to employ my shovel. I was a little worried about the learning curve, but I had faith in you!"

"Uh, me too," Wade tells her. "Just because I can survive a hundred twenty foot swandive onto Broadway doesn't mean I want to."

Setting Gwen down, he reaches up to pull the hood from his head, revealing that his excitement is visible in his eyes and in the form of a big grin.

Gwen reaches up to touch Wade's cheek with a gloved hand, as she pulls her own hooded mask off. Her blue eyes are beaming brilliantly, and she is flushed pink. "I am SO HAPPY that you can fly too, now. And even more happy because it makes YOU happy!"

The brightness still exists in Wade's expression, and when he can see how happy Gwen is, something nearly impossible happens for the second time since he's known her; the strings of his heart are tugged on.

For the briefest of moments, however, a certain sadness enters his eyes. He doesn't want her to see it, so he pulls her close and kisses her deeply, hoping that it might hide from both of them whatever it was that triggered such a shadow, however brief and concealed it may have been.

"Thank you," he whispers to the young woman, before pulling his face back, arms wrapped around her still. If there was a shadow of sadness, it's now become a glimmer of mirth. "I wish I could see the look on ol' Spidey's face when I show him."

Gwen kisses Wade back, thrilled to see him so happy. And when it breaks, she stumbles backward with a giggle. "Well, his mask is way more expressive than mine. You never know, you might just get to see that expression when he finds out! Gonna be a shock, for sure." She silently wonders if he'll be mad at her. But she can't see why he would be. He's got a hundred and fifty others who have spider powers. What's one more? Someone /she/ can hang with?

Grinning, Wade seems happy that Gwen didn't notice that momentary expression. He twirls about and then collapses on his back, staring up at the sky. "This is gonna be so awesome," he says, folding his arms behind his head.

"You /know/ it. And I am gonna work on a set like mine for you, too. Lasts tons longer. Those you have…they would last me…three or four days easy, if there wasn't anything major. But mine can last weeks. I just have to get the parts and build them. I have enough fluid to last us both indefinitely, because I can manufacture it whenever I need to." Gwen lies down beside Wade, looking up at the sky. "I'm glad you like it," she adds quietly.

"You're clearly a lot smarter than I am," Wade says. He wouldn't have the first clue where to start. Glancing her way, he moves one arm so that he can take one of her gloved hands in his own. He smiles then, while looking up at the sky and whispers, "Spiderpool."

"Spiderpool," Gwen agrees with a nod and a grin, giving Wade's hand a squeeze. "Spiderpool, Spiderpool…does whatever a Spiderpool does…." She's singing the song to herself. "I think I'm gonna have to write you your own song," she laments.

"Hey, the last time you did that, things got ugly," Wade answers, grinning. "It's a lot better than Deadspider though. I mean, I've squished a few in my day… usually the big hairy ones that don't belong inside."

"But what about Dragspider?" Gwen asks, turning to look at Wade expectantly. "We can't forget about that, but I really think Dragpool works better for that one. You can just be….Spiderpool. I like that. Spidey might wet himself if another spiderchicklet showed up on the scene."

Unfortunately for Peter, Gwen just gave Wade W. Wilson a remarkably terrible and yet also amazing idea.

"Dragpool it is," he assures her, but he's absolutely lying.

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